Passion Riddled with Grace

John 21 opens with the familiar scene of fishers on a boat. According to the passage, at least 7 disciples were present. Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, the sons of Zebedee (James and John), and two other unnamed disciples.

See, this is the 3rd time that Jesus has appeared to his disciples after his crucifixion (John 21:14). He shows up on the scene and basically does a replay of Luke 5 1-11. Simon (Peter), who was there for the first experience, recognizes Jesus after their nets become full of fish. Actually, it's not Peter who recognizes Jesus first, it's John - also known as "the disciple who Jesus loved." After John points out that the stranger on the shore is Jesus, Peter gets his outer garments and jumps into the water. What I picture, is that Peter jumps into the water in order to swim to Jesus and get there as fast as he can...and first. Why didn't Peter just stay in the boat and wait until they pulled everything ashore? Why couldn't Peter just stay in the boat?

What do we know about Peter?
- He is one of the first to be recruited by Jesus, along with James and John.
- He was a fisherman before following Christ with his brother Andrew.
- Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law.
- It's Peter who gets out of the boat on the way to Gennesaret in the middle of the storm.
- Jesus calls Peter the "rock" on which He will build his church, and that Hades will not overcome it.
- Peter tells Jesus that He will not be killed as Jesus said He would - at this, Jesus addresses Peter and says, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block for me, you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."
- Peter is there for the transfiguration.
- At the command of Jesus, Peter goes fishing and catches a fish with a four-drachma coin in its mouth to pay for the teaching tax of both Jesus and Peter.
- Peter is with Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, at His most vulnerable. (Obviously, I mean vulnerable in His human likeness.
- It is Peter who denies or "disowns" Jesus 3 times.

After surveying the 4 gospel books of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) - we know a great deal about Peter. He's like a case study, if you will. In the examples that are written down, Peter is either involved in, or present for a great number of them.

Peter's relationship with Jesus is personal. I'm not sure that really says what I want to say about it though. In the boat on the way to Gennesaret, it is Peter who responds to Jesus' claim that it is Him. He even goes beyond that to ask for proof! It's Peter, who protests aloud when Jesus is telling his disciples how he will die and what will happen. It is Peter who answers when Jesus asks, "Who do you say that I am?" Not only this, but at times, Jesus directly addresses Peter out of all the other disciples. Even though John is the disciple who Jesus loved the most, we read more about when Jesus addresses Peter than John. The Satan comment that comes from Jesus to Peter, the statement about his name being Peter and building a church, the confirmation that it will be Peter that denies him 3 times when the disciples scatter as it is written.

I believe this was done to teach the other disciples. Even more perhaps, to guide us into recognizing that it is forgivable to be imperfect and passionate toward Christ. Sure, it might not be the ideal, but it's much better than say...a luke-warm faith. People have difficulty accepting Peter's example here. Time and time again he takes the same kind of actions; ones birthed in deep emotion. He is generally quick to make a decision and act on it. These decisions are entirely of the heart and emotion, and have very little to do with logic, reason, or planning. Play over Peter's actions in your mind and see for yourself. Consider Jesus' response (when there is one) to these actions.

Let's take the trip to Gennesaret as an example. Jesus shows up in the middle of a storm on the water. Peter asks for proof that it is Him. That is about the most reasonable statement Peter might have made in the gospels in situations that are testing his faith. It is sensible to ask for proof. Nobody has walked on water before, right? Don't get me wrong, I think it is amazing that Peter even wanted to believe that it could be Jesus! Please don't take this like I'm putting Peter down in this moment. Jesus tells Peter to come to him on the water. This is where it gets ridiculous. Peter knows there is no way he can walk on that water unless it is Jesus. Let me say again, believing that statement is no small feat. Living that statement is even more elusive. Even so, Peter goes through with it. There is no guarantee that he will be all right other than the Word of Jesus. To the surprise of those in the boat, Peter starts walking on water. Now comes the storm. Immediately, Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus and starts to sink. Peter cries out, "Save me Lord!" Jesus does and says something about how little faith Peter had in that moment. Why did Peter doubt?

Peter taking his eyes off of Jesus and what follows is a great parallel for the heart of Jesus' instructions to his disciples. After rebuking Satan (toward Peter), Jesus turns to the disciples and says, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Peter lost focus and sank. Peter lost focus because of his emotions and told Jesus that He wasn't going to die like He said. Peter lost focus multiple times during their relationship. His heart however, was bent on selling out to Jesus; to doing whatever it took to get and stay close to Him no matter what.

Peter answers rightly when Jesus asks the question, "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus calls Peter blessed, and says that His Father in Heaven taught Peter this truth. (Matthew 16:17)
The man that directly contradicted Jesus - blessed.
The man that lost focus again and again - blessed.
The man who denied that he knew Jesus again and again and again - BLESSED.

Finally, the relationship (on earth) between Jesus and Peter culminates in John 21, at the 3rd appearance of Jesus.

John 21:15-19
15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. 18 I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

It is glaringly obvious that Jesus, on purpose, asks Peter 3 times if he loves Him. Peter insists each time that he does. Peter even answers yes to whether he loves Jesus "more" than these (referencing the other disciples). "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you" is Peter's response. The 3 questions seem to each be uncovering a different layer of Peter's experience. I'm sure that the 3rd time Jesus asked him, rang familiar to Peter with regards to him denying Christ 3 times. Perhaps the 2nd time, Peter might have flinched wondering where Jesus was going with the line of questioning. I can only guess, as much as I have learned from Peter with the limited knowledge I have of Jesus. The point though for the scope of this content is that Jesus asks, and Peter answers YES all 3 times.

The 3rd time Jesus responds to the yes with a description of how Peter is going to die for Him. Then, Jesus says "Follow me!" I think that Peter, through all that he's been through with Jesus, has learned a great deal. Notice though, that even now Peter is still having trouble focusing on Jesus because he is still so concerned about what is going to happen to John. It is like being in the boat to Gennesaret again except this time the storm that is making him lose focus is internal, and not external. It might be envy, I cannot be sure. However it is certain that for a brief moment, Peter is more concerned with knowing what is going to happen with John than with following Jesus. That is the point.

Peter's passion is to be held up as an example. His heart was for Christ. His passion can only be rivaled by Paul's once that miraculous conversion takes place. Even still, that is good company to be keeping when it comes to passion. Recognize though that Peter's passion alone wasn't a complete package. He needs Christ, and is about to embark on one of the most important tasks of God's story - starting the church. Christ has no problem accepting, loving, and saving Peter full of unhinged passion alone; but what Christ was asking of Peter had as much to do with his focus as it did with his passion. Peter had to learn to focus and it wasn't easy for him to do it.

Part of your response to God in your life will have something to do with things that are not your gifts. It will probably be the most difficult process of your life. It might feel all wrong and make no sense whatsoever. Jesus asked Peter to follow him - to focus on him. That meant that Peter might have to fight back an emotional urge sometimes in order to keep moving rightly in the direction God was taking him. Did you get that? It's not a matter of going the right direction, God will take care of the direction of your life. It's a matter of acting rightly in the direction that is laid before you. (See Micah 6:8)

In order for Peter to act rightly, he had to begin living differently.
Seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit. Press into intimacy with a Lord who loves you more than you can imagine.
Live differently. Grace will be there...and will always be enough.

The Gospel?

The Gospel is a person. That person is Jesus. Jesus is fully God, and fully man.

The Gospel is viewed through a paradigm. That paradigm is many times, our culture.

The Gospel is exemplified and perfected through relationship.

The Gospel does not apply without faith.

The Gospel links the special role for Israel to that of the Church through Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible."

The Bible is an account of God's love story. It is His "eternal drama" as John Eldredge puts it in his book, "The Sacred Romance." It describes to us who God is, and tells of people who were trying to figure out what it meant to live for Him in their times, and in their culture. The Bible is evidence that God had...and has something to say to all people. His message of love is clear.

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If we do not have faith, we cannot hope to see "the Gospel" separate from the paradigm of our culture. I believe this is necessary if we hope to ascertain and lay hold of that which Christ laid hold of us for. If we cannot view the Gospel outside of the constraints of our culture, I do not believe we can appropriately act from inside our culture, towards that which God has for us. I write that statement with great care, because its implications reach into the daily choices we make as individuals living in our respective cultures. And, we cannot help but to make some of those choices exactly the way we do. In some ways, the power of the Gospel is revealed more and more because of the flavor of our culture. In other ways, the power of the Gospel is masked and unrecognizable because of that same flavor.

I will spend my life seeking, yet not fully understanding these things.

That is not a wasted life.

There is nothing more important than the gospel. Nothing.

Right of Passage

Genesis 27 describes some family dysfunction that I'm not going to pretend I understand. I don't. The basic scenario is that Esau (an older brother) has his blessing robbed by his younger brother Jacob. Jacob doesn't really want to do it but Rebekah, his mother, has other ideas and talks him into tricking his father Isaac into blessing him. Esau pleads to Isaac to be considered for a blessing but Isaac simply responds, "I have made your brother lord over you, what more can I do?" At this point, Esau is filled with rage and wants to kill his brother Jacob for stealing his birthright. Honestly, I'd feel the same way.

That's what happens. Now Jacob, again because his mother wants it this way, gets sent to his grandfather's house to find a wife in Paddan Aram. He's supposed to talk to his uncle about a wife. Picture your dad saying, "Son, go see your uncle in Philly about a wife." I live in Pennsylvania...what can I say?

To not get caught up in extreme details or dream interpretation, Jacob has a dream in which God speaks to him. Basically, God says that He's going to bless Jacob and Jacob responds with "Awesome! If you make sure I return safely from my trip, you will be my God and I'll give you a tenth of what you give me!" It kind of sounds like, "Let's make a deal!"

Fast forward, Jacob makes it to Paddan Aram. He meets some guys that are from Haran, asks about Laban, and sees Rachel. He goes over to help out with watering the sheep. Basically, the bible says that he just kisses Rachel and starts to weep aloud. I guess this was the way to a girl's heart back then... (Seriously, it's probably something cultural here that I'm missing. Probably what you do when you want to marry someone - but that's just a guess.) Laban hears about Jacob being here, comes running and greets him (with a kiss again). Jacob tells Laban why he is there, and Laban confirms that's a good deal.

From the Bible's text, it seems like Jacob stayed for 1 month and worked for Laban without pay. Laban questions this and asks Jacob to name his wages. Jacob says that he'll work for 7 years if Laban gives him Rachel in marriage (whoa buddy - 7 years!?). So, 7 years go by and Jacob gets right to the point and says..."Laban, my time is complete...give me my wife so that I can lie with her." Straight to the point lad!

Now Laban does something that I just can't get over as many times as I go over it in my head. They have a feast celebrating this and he switches his daughter's on Jacob. Jacob has sex with Leah, instead of Rachel...I would guess without knowing it because he wakes up and asks Laban what the deal is. I can't blame him...that's just unbelievable. Laban tells Jacob that he's going to have to work another 7 years to get Rachel. Jacob agrees, which I think is pretty amazing. So Jacob now has 2 wives, and he loves one more than the other. (The bible says so.)

A few notes before we fast forward. Following the time when Jacob marries Rachel, a lot of posturing happens between Jacob and Laban - also between Rachel and Leah. Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah - (sound familiar?) - Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Isaacar, Zebulun, and Dinah. After 11 kids, Joseph finally is born. Remember, that's 10 sons + a daughter...then Joseph...then later Benjamin (way later). At this point, only Joseph is actually from Rachel, because she's been barren all this time. Leah's battle for Jacob's affection and Rachel's responds makes all this possible. Whew.

Oh yeah, and I should mention that Jacob basically decides to take almost nothing from Laban even though Laban has been blessed by Jacob's presence when he wants to go. Somehow, God turns this decision into Jacob becoming the owner of Laban's entire flock. (The bible tells you how that happens).

All this happens, and God says to Jacob, go back to your home land. (Paraphrased)

He does (with all of his house, which is lots of people now). He sends lots of his possessions across the Jordan to appease Esau before he goes back in the hopes that Esau won't kill him. He prays that God would deliver him from Esau, and recognizes that God has made a great house out of him. Only Jacob, his wives, and the 11 sons stay with him.

That's a lot of history for what I'm trying to get at. If I don't tell you that though, the heart of the matter has no foundation.

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Genesis 32: 22-29

"That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

²⁷ The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^{e]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[e]} because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

²⁹ Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, ^{f]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[f]} saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

³¹ The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, ^{g]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[g]} and he was limping because of his hip. ³² Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon."

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Jacob has lots of possessions. Why is a man wrestling with Jacob? The subtitle in the bible says "Jacob wrestles with God" so we know the man is supposed to resemble God. Yet, the bible says that a man wrestles with Jacob until daybreak. What is going on here?

Jacob is faced here, with confronting his fear. Esau is one representation of who Jacob is. The very identity of Jacob is defined by being a trickster. He stole the birthright, he stole Laban's flock (even if it was with God's blessing), he's basically swindled everyone out of everything he's gained. He has wives that trick each other and compete just like he did with his brother (which his mother helped with). Everything in his life points to strife and deceit.

Jacob (the trickster) collides with God. Jacob has been hearing from God over the years, but has been living out of an unhealthy fear. Jacob doesn't fear God at this point, he fears himself. He is afraid of what / who he is, and what that might mean for his future. There's no way he's crossing the Jordan without God - almost as importantly...without God's blessing.

There is a turn in Jacob's grappling from wrestling, to clinging. It happens when the "God-man" puts Jacob's hip out of joint with a simple touch. Kind of a foreshadowing to Peter sinking and crying out, "Lord, save me!"

Simply put, God desires for our lives are to be shaped around a clinging to Him, not a wrestling with Him - although he's got no problem wrestling you until you cling. I believe there are seasons when we wrestle with different issues or truths and the like, but generally speaking - we are to cling to God in desperate dependence and recognition of His sovereignty. The moment you transition from wrestling to clinging, defines your life. I believe this experience drives deep within us and shakes us apart for the glory of God. Most importantly though - it creates us anew. Jacob's very identity is changed by this experience.

God broke Jacob's hip to make him cling. What does God have to break in your life to make this happen? You are not better than Jacob, something needs to break in order to cling to God. Have you been broken, or are you yet to be broken? When you are, will you cling? Will you refuse to let go of God? Will you refuse to forsake His name as He is breaking your life apart in ways that He has every right to because He is sovereign? Will you grip him and demand that He bless you? Can you understand that God is breaking you so that He may be glorified and you may be lifted up in the end like Jacob was?

Personally, I run to video games and movies when God tries to break me. I'm no Jacob, but God keeps letting me wrestle with Him in hopes that one day, I won't let go...until He blesses me. This is the equivalent of not crossing the Jordan. I simply cling to the escape routes I've designed to avoid going head to head with God.

Do you believe Him for that?

Do You Trust Me?

Genesis 22:1-3

¹ Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

² Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

³ Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.

OK, read that again. There's no rush...really.

Now that you have read it a 2nd time, ask yourself honestly - would I do that if God asked me?

No wonder that Abraham is the father of many nations. Take a look at this verse people. And it's just the beginning. God basically says, "Take the person you love, the person that I gave you - and sacrifice him."

Really put yourself in his shoes. Role play here and make it as if God is talking with you.

"Take the person you love, the person that I gave you and sacrifice him/her."

For some of you, that is a friend, for those who are married - a spouse. For those married with children, perhaps one of those children (or all of them, pick one). Could you do it?

Here's a question, does it even make sense that God would ask something like that of you? I maintain that we have culturalized God so much that we have a completely warped perspective of what he may or may not have us do in order to glorify Himself! Our view of God shrinks daily and our faith is definitely NOT that of a mustard seed (and I don't mean we don't have enough faith, it more screams that we aren't at peace with the right kind of faith). We cannot comprehend, let alone get to the question, "Could we do it?" The truth is that we would dismiss the thought before it even had a chance to sink in - if it even could sink in at all!

Next, Abraham gets all the supplies ready in order to sacrifice his son, readies 2 people to help him out, and then gets on his donkey! He's going through with this!

Genesis 22:6,7

⁶ Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, ⁷ Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Are you serious? I don't even know if I can imagine this right...

I want you to notice the faith Isaac has in his father, and the innocence of his heart in this moment.

Genesis 22:8

⁸ Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

Without skipping a beat, Abraham answers Isaac's question brilliantly. He doesn't lie, yet he spares his son panic and confusion that most definitely would have followed. At least, I think it would have. Reading the words, I can't even believe that Abraham thought of that on his own. I have suspicion that God is lending Abraham His wisdom in this moment to give Isaac peace so that Abraham's faith can be put on display for God.

Genesis 22:9-12

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. ¹⁰ Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. ¹¹ But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

¹² "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

I don't think there is a man or woman on earth that would have made it this far. Abraham has the knife poised and ready to strike His son before "the angel of the Lord" calls out to him from heaven. Only now does the truth come. "Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Only when you give up "the stuff you love" can you fear God. If you are not willing to give these things up for God if/when He asks, you do not fear Him - and in turn you cannot trust Him.

God asked Abraham to do this as a test. God wanted to see how far Abraham was willing to go...whether or not Abraham trusted God. Abraham passed because he would have done it. If we was not going to do it God would not have needed to stop him. God knew Abraham was really going to kill his own son because of His faith. If God does not step in, Abraham kills Isaac. This is why Abraham passes the test. Did you hear it that time? It is not because he showed up on the mountain, not because he built the altar, not because he brought his son, not because he raised the knife; but because he was ready (somehow...) to kill his son because God said so.

If you do not fear God, not only can you not trust Him - you cannot love Him. He can love you though that mess, but you cannot love Him through all of it. Without fear of God, you will not cast yourself upon God without looking back. You will stretch yourself so thin trying to build the bridge between what you can't let go of and God. Doing this breaks people apart, and we see it all the time in this world - and we continue to see it more and more. Most people that do this end up blaming God for stuff. God doesn't settle for 2nd in your life. He just doesn't.

In my last post, "The Heart of Losing your Life" I mentioned that the state of your heart is what God is really after. I share this example of Abraham with you because I'm trying to drive home this point in a very different way. God had to know that there was NO part of his life that was more dear to Abraham than God. At the core, God is jealous FOR us and will not take a back seat to anyone, or anything. Should you, as a parent, take a back seat to your baby's rattle? What about the baby's pacifier? How ridiculous does that even sound? Of course you shouldn't take a back seat to those things because of 2 important reasons! First, because you as a parent are the source of how the baby gets the rattle or pacifier. Second, because you are the source of everything they need. At least, in their world you are. If this is true, why do you expect God to be different with us, than you are with your children?

This is what Abraham believed. I would say that he understood, but he didn't get how it all worked. Abraham knew that if God told him to do something, that he should do it because God is God and had a better plan than Abraham could come up with. Abraham trusted God implicitly. This is the same thing that Jesus is asking of the rich young ruler. Jesus asks him to "go sell all of this possessions." The only difference is that Abraham did what God asked, the rich young ruler couldn't. Look at the story of Abraham in light of Jesus Christ. Jesus was the fulfillment of the law, and turned toward your heart all of this difficult nonsense that used to be burnt offerings and the like. God still looks to your heart for burnt offerings. He is looking for you to put on the altar the stuff that is piled on top of your heart preventing you from trusting Him.

I have been alive for 30 years (To some of you that will seem like forever, to others not so much). Not one time have I witnessed someone trust God implicitly. Not one time. It has always been conditional or half-hearted. It has never been like what I read in Genesis. God has not changed since then. He is still God. We are the descendants of Abraham, we should expect the same God as he did.

Let go. Trust Him.

The Heart of Losing Your Life

Matthew 16:24-26

²⁴Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. ²⁶What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

People seem to like quoting this scripture. Pastors, mentors, teachers, those who would teach us something about God, about life, about others, or about ourselves.

Thing is, most don't tell you that it is going to be hard. They don't tell you that you're going to get angry with God about losing your life...or that it's not all sunshine and roses.

I met a good pastor today. From the start of our conversation, there were no punches pulled, no pretending things were going to get better / easier. I knew the truth, and I was told it in love, which affirmed me a great deal. All that man had to do was show up, and be who God made Him to be.

On the other hand, there's this guy:

Matthew 19:15-23

¹⁶ Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”
¹⁷ So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
¹⁸ He said to Him, “Which ones?”
Jesus said, “ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ¹⁹ ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
²⁰ The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”
²¹ Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
²² But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

See, this scripture points to the heart of losing your life. What is so special about these possessions? "He had great possessions?" What made them so great? Why does this man turn away from the conversation sorrowful, instead of with urgency and exhilaration. Jesus just told him exactly what he wanted to know...right? The rich young ruler gets what he came for...but not what he wanted.

The rich young ruler defines himself by his possessions. It's part of "who He is" to himself. If you would ask him who he is, I imagine at this point he would say something about him being successful and making the right choices and that God has blessed him and that's the reason for everything. My point in this entry is this...Jesus asks him to sell his possessions not because He wants or needs this man to give to the poor; but because the rich young ruler needs to sell his possessions and give to the poor to be able to have treasure in heaven. Oh yeah...and go follow Jesus too.

The position of the possessions in the man's heart is the issue. The position of the great possessions is higher on the list than inheriting eternal life. And...don't think that just because you don't have a lot, this can't be your problem. You don't have to have lots of stuff to covet having lots of stuff - and this is a new one to me...but it's the same thing as far as your heart is concerned. Jesus wants your heart completely. The whole thing. He's not going to compete against possessions, pride, or any of that other stuff that creates a false image of you to make you feel better about how He fits into your life. Your heart needs to be full of Christ; and let the rest of what comes overflow from that.

Case & point:

Matthew 6:25-34

"²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The rich young ruler couldn't get a grip on the fact that he wasn't in control of his own life. His attitude then reflected that his heart didn't know how to change. He leaves sorrowful because he doesn't know how to do what Jesus has just asked of him. He wants eternal life, but can't do what is asked of him. Let me say again that is isn't that he could "go sell all his possessions and give to the poor" it is that he can't change his heart. Right now, his heart is full of things he's done to earn his way to eternal life. He's fulfilled all the commandments, yet he still comes asking what he needs to do? What more does he need to do?

Another point is this: He is told to do something He cannot do. He can't make his heart change. God is the one in the business of changing hearts. Now I've heard mixed reviews on this, and my own personal verdict is still out. Some tell me that you can change your own heart, others tell me that it's God's job. I guess thinking about it, it is a co-operation of sorts. It's not that you really "do" anything, but it is that you let the Holy Spirit shape your heart however God sees fit. Therefore, you are shaped, your life is shaped, your words are shaped - by God for His purposes to His glory. That puts God on center stage, and not you...which is how it should be.

The rich young ruler couldn't give up the stage IN HIS HEART to Jesus. Can you?

Blessed are those Who Believe, Yet have not Seen

Yesterday as I was holding one of my newborn daughters in my arms, she started to cry out for something. Here's the thing, she's 1 month old; what could she possibly want? She could be hungry, she could need her diaper changed, or she could just be crying out because she cannot really see much unless it is right in front of her face.

I learned this in my journey toward fatherhood. Babies, for the first "while" after they are born cannot focus or see much of anything unless you're really close to their face. You have this little person (or little people in my case) that can't see and her only way to communicate with us big people is to make a noise. Not to mention, it's the only noise she can make right now. There's variations to the noise, but it's all basically a type of crying out.

The point is that the world, to newborns, is extremely fuzzy. They can see variations and stuff...but they do not see the physical world like we see it. Their eyes need to be trained.

John 20:24-29

"Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, 'We have seen the Lord.' So he said to them, 'Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.' And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, 'Peace to you!' Then He said to Thomas, 'Reach your finger here, and look at my hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.' And Thomas answered and said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him, 'Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'"

Thomas needed to see and touch in order to believe. Thomas wanted to use the physical senses he had to convince himself of the impossible. Something had happened that was impossible. I think sometimes we are hard on Thomas here. People came and told Thomas that Jesus had risen from the dead; not an easy sell. Of course, if a group of people corroborate the story - - it's harder to not go along with it. Even still, I think Thomas shows us that no matter how overwhelming the stories are toward proving the impossible true, we will still seek some kind of proof before we believe it. Honestly, I kind of applaud Thomas in part for his ability to stand his ground and not believe. It had to take some kind of courage to tell all the other disciples that he wasn't going along with this nonsense that Jesus was alive. Right or wrong - he defended what he thought to be the truth. Don't be a hypocrite and judge Thomas so quickly, we do this all the time.

For a second time, Jesus hits the scene and greets the disciples. He goes right to Thomas and they go through proving that Jesus is who He says He is. Thomas now believes because it has been proven to him to be true according to the standards that He created in His own heart. Jesus gave Him what He needed to believe. Like the awesome savior He is Jesus follows this up with a brief teaching statement, "Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed."

Which brings me to an interesting point. 2 things that sometimes seem to stand in direct contradiction to one another. Defending the truth and believing. I don't know that I've ever seen a human being defend a truth they claimed not to understand. I've seen them defend things they think they understand mostly, or are trying desperately to understand - but not something that is hopeless for them to understand. That's the trick of it. We cannot hope to understand how it is that Jesus stood in the midst of the disciples; how it is that He rose to be seated at the right hand of the Father; how it is that He sent the Holy Spirit to us; any more than we can understand the ways of God. We believe these things by faith, because (I would argue) we cannot be shown these things. The separateness of God is so great that if He would describe to us how it worked I think we would lose Him at, "Well, you see it's like this..."

Let's stop back at the teaching statement again to finish up.

"Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed."

I see a hidden challenge in this verse to Thomas from Jesus. Very clearly, it is a message to Thomas that it is better to not need to see in order to believe. In other words, your faith should not be tied to something as physical as your own sight. That being said, it begs the question...what should your faith be tied to? How to we keep on believing?

I'd like to suggest that how we choose to see our world and the circumstances that occur within our field of view greatly shapes the state of our faith. For example, do you have faith that God is with you in a difficult circumstance in your life; or is it that when God responds to your difficult situation you will praise Him because He clearly (in hindsight) is worthy? It is a subtle difference in principle, but a great chasm in practice. Your attitude through a difficult time will reflect whether your faith is tossed to and fro like a weed blowing in the wind, or whether it is founded on the cornerstone that is Christ, not shaken by all that you see - because you are assured of what is unseen.

Believe.

The Theft of Gratitude

It begins with something that doesn't quite go how you think it should have for God. Then something else happens like that...and yet another. Or perhaps you do something, say something, or even feel something you know that you shouldn't; but you can't stop whatever it is. Before you know it, you're not looking at God quite the same as you were a few weeks ago before all this stuff happened. There's anger, bitterness, a sense of entitlement...and most likely a cynical slant to any words you say about God. Most of all, you're left in a place where you can't help but to focus on all the questions, instead of the character and faithfulness of your God.

That folks, is how gratitude is stolen from us.

Colossians 3:15-17

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Philippians 4:5-7

⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Gratitude and Thanksgiving were designed to be received by God...and come from us. We're built to be grateful, to give thanks. Why? Well, it's because Jesus did all the work on the cross and the Holy Spirit now comes alongside of our hearts and lives to instruct and shape us. Quite simply...we were built to be grateful and give thanks to God because it is all that is left for us to do.

So often we enter situations with the very best of intentions, forgetting the most critical piece of the equation. Anything that is done for God, is done by God. Whether it is the unjustified sacrifice of Christ speaking into someone's life or whether it is the Holy Spirit breaking down walls of anger, hatred, or bitterness; God is doing the work, not you.

Who are you to think that you've done something for God that he did not, or could not do for Himself? You think you gave up a week's worth of work to go on a missions trip without the help of God? There are countless examples of daily things, from huge life changing things to very small and trivial things that we fail to recognize God in them...and it amputates the power of the cross. It amputates the ministry of the Holy Spirit. If we would just see these things for what they are and call them like we see them I think our hearts would better remember gratitude and thanksgiving.

However, as the example above, when you find yourself in seasons where it's just not going your way, we have trouble with gratitude and thanksgiving. It's no secret to God that you are troubled, that your heart has hardened regarding Him. God is not surprised, and He hasn't been since the beginning:

Genesis 3:1-10

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
² And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; ³ but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
⁴ Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. ⁵ For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
⁶ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
⁸ And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
⁹ Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
¹⁰ So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

Unfortunately though, God has nevertheless had to respond and adjust for our the attitude of our hearts. I say "adjust" loosely, because the idea that God is all knowing and sees time differently than us goes toward the argument that He didn't really need to adjust anything. Again, He is not surprised at our unfaithfulness.

This also goes to point out that gratitude is in fact stolen from us. Adam and Eve are existing in perfect relationship with God in Eden. The deception of the serpent steals away this relationship aspect and creates a chasm between God and people. God has not changed here, people have. The hearts and minds of Adam and Eve have been altered by the deception. No longer are actions coming from the same place in their hearts...moreover they see God differently (and probably the serpent differently too). Because they see God differently, their reaction to God is different, and might I note...quite inaccurate all of a sudden.

Ah yes, to the point. It's quite so with us as well is it not? Our paradigm of God changes, even if only for a few hours, and our hearts change. That's the thing about the spiritual realm, it has the power to change your heart. God can change your heart, but Satan can make you do things that leave that same heart scarred, and damaged which also has consequences.

When temptation or a bad season of life comes along, it's a question. Will you let God shape your response to Him, or will you let something else?

The Spiritual Locker Room

Have you ever been telling a story to a group of people, and they can't help but to follow-up your story with the words, "If you think that's (insert adjective here), wait until you hear this!" Then, they proceed to tell the wildest, most action-packed drama filled story you've ever heard in your life and try to pass it off as true? Ever had that happen?

The other posts on this blog are all about God...so don't worry, we'll get there. I think the action I described in the previous paragraph is truly a pet peeve of mine. It's not always the other person's fault, sometimes people can't help but be rude, and act in complete disregard of your hope to relationally connect with others...right? I'm sure other people have written about this before, but I call this the 1-up syndrome.

The 1-up syndrome is defined (by me) as: The inability to funnel the presentation of your life experience in tandem with the relational, emotional, and sometimes mental well being of those you care about. I know, it's just not fair of me to expect so much of other people - - especially in a society where we've got to pry real relationship out of each other with a proverbial crowbar.

Actually, when I think about it, we're really kind of sensitive. I the vast majority of us who are sane and seeking relationships have a soft spot. You know, the spot where if someone else doesn't handle it with care it will break apart and you'll never forget the insincerity of that person for years? In general, I think we all have things that we can't help but to take personally; and to be honest this is probably one of mine. But, because I can't help but think about how God works in absolutely everything...I'm led to share something related to the 1-up syndrome I'll refer to as "False Humility."

See, it was all fun and games (kind of), until I was telling a story one time about how God had been awesome in my life. I think I was talking about my trip to Honduras or something. I don't remember the exact story. Someone in the group said almost the words I described above, "If you think that's awesome, wait until you hear my story about God!"

Let me hit pause and apologize for the cynicism that's about to come forth. It might get thick, but I can't help it. I realize that this person was probably just trying to share something great that God had done in their life. It's just that it was framed up against something I had said and made out to be the empire state building to my hot dog stand. Has empathy been completely obliterated in today's culture?

Back to the story. I felt like the person needed a lesson in pride reduction or something! What right did they have to prop up their experience of God next to mine and minimize something they hadn't been through!? That's when my wheels started spinning about it. (Not to mention, I didn't even hear the other person's story...which is a whole other matter). 2 things were bothering me. First, were the people even going to remember my story now? Second, did this person even hear me? Did you hear the common denominator in those 2 statements? That's right...ME.

So often we tell stories (clearly...I tell stories) about God, but God is not the center of those stories. In my own mind, I'm the center of the stories, and they are all about what God has done for...ME. Ahem. While I maintain my initial point that relationship demands a bit more empathy, I also recognize that most people need some work and many of them don't even realize it. Isn't that the trouble. You're the center of your own story.

Here it comes. The tie in to why the title is "The Spiritual Locker Room." We just have to rate everything! So much of our current culture is people silently (or not silently) rating or measuring what something means to them. A story, an experience, a person, a job, their children, their spouse, church, God, etc. Pick anything, and I bet you know where it falls in a long line of importance you've racked up in your head. What are the rules for how you measure? What purpose does measuring at all serve us?

Before I was in High School, I used to hear "horror" stories about how when I got to the locker room, all the boys were going to get together and measure. I'll leave it at that. I heard rumors that girls locker rooms were the same. Like it was some kind of status symbol. Depending on who you are...it might still be; but that is neither here nor there. The point is that if you're trying to live your life God's way, looking at measuring anything against anyone Else's anything isn't really the way to go. Why? One word: ENVY.

This post now kind of ties into the one on Warring in the Spirit because Envy is a slippery enemy. It comes for everyone, Christian and not alike. Oh boy does it come after you. Look at today's culture. Here's a snapshot (Reality TV, Sex, Entertainment, Gadgets, Family). Ever envied one of those things. Ever envied someone on Survivor, or a beautiful actor / model (male or female), a friend who had a 5 zillion inch flat-screen TV, a cool new phone or mp3 player, or someone who had a family - when you so desperately want one of your own? We set ourselves up to envy others and it has chipped its way into our relationships so that we don't even know it's there most of the time. Obviously, my spin on this is God-related.

To reel in what we've talked about, we started with the 1-up syndrome, moved to false humility, and have brought the discussion to how envy plays a huge role in our lives in today's culture. Humility is so hard. Can you imagine that Jesus lived his life and never envied 1 thing? Not $$$, not a marriage relationship, not that he didn't have food in the desert; not a thing. I can't even imagine it; I can't go 24 hours without envying something someone else has...or wanting something I don't. It's ridiculous when I think about it. If it is this hard anyway, then why do we (as Christians) stand for it in our relationships with one another? I think we as a whole are most guilty with material possessions. But everything really applies.

OK, the point. The point is this: pick and choose when to share your stuff. Use the Holy Spirit a little and think about your audience. God is awesome, and we should share Him with each other often! A little compassion and empathy wouldn't hurt - and it might just save you some friends. Make God the center of your stories, because He is. When you recognize envy creeping into a discussion or thought process; stop it! Your brothers and sisters in Christ need you to point out that stuff to them and in them; and you need them to point it out to you in you. It will hurt the first few times until you start to realize how hurtful what you're doing is to others, to God...but most of all to yourself. Envy would love to rob you of relationships, and treasure in heaven. Don't stand for it.

I feel a little bit like I rambled on this one. Here's some scripture to put everything together. Be led by the Holy Spirit!

Galatians 5:19-27

"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."

The Rejection of Our King

(See 1st Samuel 8 - 12)

First, a little bit about Samuel.

He's a prophet. From the beginning of Samuel's life, He was committed to the Lord. This is in large part due to His mother's faithfulness in God. She wanted a child and promised God that she would dedicate His life to God. God opened her womb and allowed her to conceive. Then Samuel, from a very young age was under the direction of Eli the prophet. Eli's sons end up very deceptive and dishonest...so God strikes the house with death. Then, Samuel basically serves as the microphone for God in Israel from that point on.

By the time we get to 1st Samuel 8, Samuel is getting older in age. Not sure how old, maybe someone smarter than me can elaborate one day, because he ends up being around for awhile after this. However, Samuel has 2 sons as well. Their names were Joel and Abijah. They were appointed judges over Israel, and unfortunately were also found dishonest and did not walk in Samuel's ways. Out of this truth, Israel demands a King.

There's the history, and we arrive in 1st Samuel 8.

1st Samuel 8:4-8 (NKJV)

"Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, and said to him, 'Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.' But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, 'Give us a king to judge us.' So Samuel prayed to the Lord. And the Lord said to Samuel, 'Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them. According to all the works which they have done since the day that I brought them up out of Egypt, even to this day - with which they have forsaken Me and served other gods - so they are doing to you also. However, you shall solemnly forewarn them, and show them the behavior of the king who will reign over them.'"

The first thing I see is that Israel is scared. They are scared of what will happen once Samuel is gone. They believe that once Samuel is gone, "all hell" will break loose and it will be chaos. They say it right there! "Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways." This is why a king is being requested. The next statement peels back the layers of their hearts even further: "Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations."

They wanted to be like the other nations. It's subtle, but I'm going to say that this was in the hearts of the elders, and probably a huge part of the population of Israel. They wanted to fit in and be like the other nations. They had kings to lead them. They could see, and smell, and touch their leaders. Israel wants a leader they can see.

God's response is one of sadness and pain I think. He basically says to Samuel, "Don't worry Samuel - they don't hate you, they hate me. You're just caught in the middle." So you've got a godly man in Samuel, playing facilitator between the God of the universe and His chosen people. When you think about it, that's pretty much what Old Testament prophets did. They were the microphone and messenger of God so that the people could understand who their creator was and who He wanted them to be. That's somewhat a generalization, but for the purposes of this topic, it is enough.

What happens next really amazes me. The people demand a king, and Samuel says:

1st Samuel 8:11-18

And he said, "This will be the behavior of the king who will reign over you: He will take your sons and appoint them for his own chariots and to be his horsemen, and some will run before his chariots. He will appoint captains over his thousands and captains over his fifties, will set some to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and some to make his weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers, cooks, and bakers. And he will take the best of your fields, your vineyards, and your olive groves, and give them to his servants. He will take a tenth of your grain and your vintage, and give it to his officers and servants. And he will take your male servants, your female servants, your finest young men, and your donkeys, and put them to his work. He will take a tenth of your sheep. And you will be his servants. And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day."

I mean, when you read this...doesn't it seem like madness? Think about it. Today, if someone came up to you and said that...would you go for it? Honestly, if you look at these verses one way, it sounds like taxes and a draft. You have to give 10% of everything...and I don't believe that this is talking about tithe in this case either. While that is debatable, look at the rest? Sons and daughters going away for causes the king decides are worthy? Are you sure you want your children at the mercy of anyone but the God who saved you from Egypt? This might be risky...

So Samuel basically says, "Are you sure you want this?" Israel decides there is more risk in not seeing their king than there is in agreeing to these terms that are stacked against them. The thing that gets me is the final statement in the scripture. "And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day." In other words, "You're all going to turn back to me and ask me to deliver you once you realize what you have done...and I'm not going to even hear what you have to say about this."

So, what does this have to do with anything? Let me start addressing this. Today, we have many leaders. Some are called kings, and some aren't. Israel started out here with God; this is when Moses was the microphone, and it turned into elders once the burden became too much for Moses. The burden was never too much for God, but facilitating the leadership of God's people became to much for 1 man. I would argue that God had more to say and wanted to be more involved in His people than speaking through 1 man. So, elders come into play. Responsibility and such divided, and the spirit fell on them and they now had the capacity to lead according to God's direction - but still had a choice.

As we fast forward to 1 Samuel 8, Israel rejects God. It's plain and simple, they reject Him. They choose a man to lead them (and at this point they don't even know the man), instead of the same God who delivered them from Egypt. My question is this: Do we really choose differently today as the body of Christ?

Some probably do...so I don't mean that as a blanket statement. They had 1 guy who was on display more than the rest that was communicating for God and God tells them through this guy that things are going to get worse if they take a king. They say, "Yep...we understand. We want things to get worse." It is so ironic, because we all do this in our individual lives with sin and God probably every day. We choose something tangible, something we can touch and see instead of trusting in the living God (who is, for the most part "unseen" so to speak).

We daily reject our King. The King who went to a cross for us. The One who died for our sins. The One who stepped in and paid the penalty for all the decisions (like this one), that Israel and all others made or will ever make against God. We reject that King daily too. We've been saved and promised eternal life and prosperous futures and such, and we still reject the God of the Universe.

We trade Him in for sex, $$$, pride, power, fame, glory or security for ourselves. Smart move huh?

Warring in the Spirit

---------------------------

A Picture of Battle

In the past few months it has been confirmed to me that there is a battle taking place for control of my soul. Though I’ve known this in my head for 5 years; the stakes continue to rise at an alarming rate that now cannot go unnoticed. I am in this very real phase of my life when I’m recognizing sin that I cannot atone for. To put it another way, I am recognizing and catching actions that the “sin in me” wills to commit against Him (God, or Jesus).

So this then is the picture. I stand in the middle of a battle field with the sword of the Spirit in hand. Swinging feverishly I hurry back to the ready, knowing the armies sent for me will not stop any time soon. Each moment I hope that friends will come to fight by my side the few foes I cannot wound; those who have seen & caused me to fall before. Remembering friends that have come before renews some strength, but cannot replace the real thing. I go down on one knee, my sword still at the ready…it must be at the ready. In they sweep, peering straight through to my heart. My seams begin to loosen, for they know the weaknesses I’ve chosen to leave. As the pain & suffering become too great to bear, weapons fly through the air…and connect with my enemies. The Lord’s grace surrounds me, perfecting my armor and restoring my broken heart. His will compels me, and from the heart with the Spirit my enemies are driven out. I turn to find my friends, generals of the armies of God surrounded by the prayers of His people. I surrender to them my life, for they save it each time and renew my strength in the Lord Jesus Christ, the King of Kings. To restore my soul I must mount up with them, and go to save the lost of this spirit battleground.

Praise be to our Lord Jesus Christ, to Him be the glory now and forever. Amen.

----------------------

I wrote this about 3 years ago. I recently found it, a lone entry in a notebook I had good plans to use for something visionary. Clearly, I never got to use it for what I had hoped.

In any case, I was struck at how accurate of a picture this turns out to be (at least to my understanding) of Warring in the Spirit. There is a thread of truth that needs to be present in our lives surrendered to Him; the ability to receive help from those He sends to our aid. Granted, this could look like angels like came to Daniel, and Joseph, and many others. It could look like a new perspective as you wake up in the morning and somehow "borrow" a new outlook on situations that challenge you. But what if it is a friend? What if it is someone you thought was an enemy? I suppose the most obvious question is; do you limit how God is able to reach you?

Put yourself in the equation described. Down on one knee, trying to fend of enemies that you have never before been able to wound, but are very familiar to you. It's a no win situation for you alone. Might I even go as far as to say it's even sometimes a no win situation when it's you with the Holy Spirit vs. these other things. I say that fully aware that "anything is possible with God." I do not mean to imply that the power of the Holy Spirit is trumped by any type of evil. It is very clear that the power of our God is more, better, other, separate, and infinitely greater than any evil that would come against us.

I urge you to consider though that God designed the battle differently than that. God did not design a 1 man or 1 woman take on all comers brawl (save what Jesus Christ has accomplished - that was a 1 man show...and the 1 man was fully God too). God drew up battle plans for His church so that we would have one another's back, and that all of us would be falling back on Christ for power and for endurance; for faith and using the truth empowered by the Holy Spirit as the weapons of this spiritual war.

Someone once told me that we are at war as Christians (mostly in the spirit with spiritual enemies). At the time I thought to myself, "Really? At war huh? I don't even know how to be at war in the Spirit." In many ways, I'm sure I still don't.

Much of war is dependence. When I think about war, even war as we understand it like nation against nation, war strikes me as a very dependent action. Nations choose to go to war independently, but the rules of engagement are very much a team sport. Unless it is some type of stealth sabotage or surprise mission, you go everywhere with someone else. You don't go alone, because chances are the enemy is traveling in a group too. If they ran across just you, you'd be in trouble, outnumbered, and overwhelmed. That's just common sense, right?

Then why are we so independent as Christians? Why do we tend to want to fight the sin battles alone? How is it that, even with the knowledge that God designed this Christian thing as a team deal, we separate from one another when sin strikes a weak spot, or especially when sin is plotting an attack on our lives. The enemy is tricky, and 2 enemies come ahead of the others in battle. One is named pride, and the other is named shame.

I'm convinced that one of the most difficult things for a Christian to be is sure of who he or she is in Christ. I'm talking about grounded in the truth of the gospel that claims us as adopted sons and daughters and ushers us into a loving relationship with Jesus Christ by His grace. Solid, true, grounded, reinforced faith that is unshaken. That's good defense. That's armor of God type stuff. Have you stepped through Ephesians 6 and covered yourself with the armor of God? Ever felt like you had a weak spot?

"When you are weak, He is strong." He is strong for you by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is strong for you through the power of the Holy Spirit IN OTHERS. He is strong for you in the miraculous that only God is capable of. Trust me, if you try to go it alone, pride and shame will lie in wait and pounce on you and create despair in you when you are most vulnerable...and in your time of need. Sometimes you need to call for help...and you should call for help and be unashamed to call for help. That's how God designed it. We are to reach out to Him, and to those that are fighting the battle together alongside of us.

This is real time folks. I'm not talking about calling someone you know on the phone and saying, "Man, I just messed up." Don't get me wrong, you should do that too. I'm talking about when you see it coming. What if you asked someone to just spend the day with you, because you knew it was going to be a difficult day? It's really simple stuff. I'm talking about the power of basics here. I'm not talking about getting together and speaking in tongues and stuff. (Although, if you can speak in tongues, it is proven to be a good armor reinforcer). It's just to get around other people, even if for a little while to take the edge off of temptation. We've all been there. I don't feel extremely vulnerable sharing any of this. Anyone who claims to have never been tempted I think needs to open their eyes. The spirit ones; the ones that show the battlefield.

This is all like Spirit Battles 101. I don't think it's extremely deep stuff, but it's very difficult to practice how God designed it - especially for us United States kids who preach independence every chance we get! Until next time.

Our Father...Who is in Heaven

I’m compelled to share a moment that I wish every parent could experience. I’d say all parents do, but in this day and age with so many parents missing from their children’s lives...it wouldn’t be correct.

This morning at 5:00am, just after my wife struggled through getting some food to our newborns, I found myself 1-on-1 with my 2 day old daughter. Wow, even writing the word daughter is still surreal. Anyway, she was awake and I was holding her facing me. I looked at this little person that came out of my wife’s uterus and thought to myself, “Is this really happening? Are you real girl?”

In the following few moments as her gentle weeping tapered off, I fell into a different kind of love. It took all of about 20 seconds, but more happened in that 20 seconds than I could have cultivated in my own heart if I had a lifetime to do so. The Lord my God is amazing. He is ever faithful and good.

I am the type of person that has great big dreams and envisions accomplishing them. While this is true, lots of my ideas end up spiraling around in limbo for way too long because thus far I have not found the courage to act in faith with a mentality of managing the risk involved. Today, just 2 days after my girls were born, I feel lighter than ever before. If bringing these girls into this world was my only purpose, my life was worth something special enough. For the first time ever, I feel completely content doing something…being a father. Go figure.

Then, because I’m convinced that God is a show-off, He gifted me with another moment like this one with my other daughter (also 2 days old) - my wife had twins. All the same emotions and statements apply. My heart was stretched toward infinity twice in one day. I’m awestruck, and do not have the words to give tribute to how awesome God must be; evidenced to me in the reality of my girls.

Because of this experience, I'm led to revisit what it means when God makes the claim to be "Our Father, who is in Heaven." Becoming a father the way that I did means a great deal to me. (What I mean is, God allowing me to become a father that is awestruck and grateful of the amazing miracle that these 2 children are.) When I heard their first breath, a flood of emotion and joy started scrambling around in my heart to overflow. It was their cries that did it. I couldn't see them right away when they were born (c-section), so I heard them first. It's just as much a miracle either way -- and I didn't feel slighted one bit the way it happened for me.

When I think about this in terms of God, I'm a bit taken back. It took me all of about .025 seconds to realize that there was no way out of this one...I was going to love these 2 girls no matter what. Over the next few days, it hit me. Because I experienced that as a father; my heart was stretched to allow me to understand more fully the extent to which God would go for me. Let's face it, since my girls have shown up on the scene, they have slept, ate, and gone to the bathroom lots. Other than this, there is the occasional (actually quite frequent) flailing of their arms and legs...which they can't control yet. Oh yeah, and a bunch of wimpering and crying -- can't forget that. Are you seeing the picture? Do you get the parallel?

Nothing my girls do earns my love. Maybe again, I sound like a broken record. I feel like I've written this message up on this blog every time. There must be something to it. I love them simply because they are. God loves me like I love them. He loves me simply because I am, and He chooses to love me, believe in me, hope for me, and be a faithful Father. Now get this part, because it's the difficult part. The way God loves me, is way beyond anything I can feel for my girls. God gives me a glimpse of His love for me by allowing me to be father to these precious children. See, parts of me died the day (and days following) my children were born. Parts of me were uprooted and newly cultivated that otherwise would have gone untouched. There is only one who can do that kind of work in us and spare our lives as we know it; The Holy Spirit.

When Jesus died for our sins, part of God's heart was uprooted as well. God didn't change exactly, but how he was represented to us did. When Jesus died, He was able to send the Holy Spirit to be with us. Now, instead of God being only "Our Father, who is in Heaven" He became "God with us."

So what's the point? The point is lots of people say, "If God loved me he'd do _____" or "God couldn't love someone like me." My girls can't choose whether I love them or not. That decision is up to me. If you have children, your children can't choose whether you love them or not, it's your decision to make. Children can screw up all they want to, lash out in hate, embarrass you, and hurt you in ways that no-one else is equipped to touch. The decision of whether a parent loves them is still the parent's to make. I cannot tell you that you can't love your children anymore. It just can't happen. I'm trying to make a claim that is not mine to make. God chose to love you like you love your children. Way MORE than you love your own children; but the love is the same type. You cannot decide that God doesn't love you or cannot love you any more than I can decide that you no longer love your children. Whether God loves you or not isn't really up to you, it is up to God.

What is up to you is your response to that love. How will you respond with the knowledge that the God of the universe loves you MORE than you can imagine?

Repent! or something like that...

I feel the need to try and work something out in the open here.  Be on notice, that I might not come to a "conclusion" of sorts.  If I'm still working it out when I'm finished typing, that is the way it goes.  

Recently, I've been thinking about repentance; you know...how we (people) are supposed to repent of our wickedness according to the Bible.  

This begs the question, "Have we changed the gospel?"  Are we any better than the Judaizers that were plaguing the Galatian churches with additions to faith in Christ?  Are we of lesser offense if we somehow diminish the gospel or water down its truth?  Paul came quickly in defense of the true gospel in the letter to the Galatian churches.  It was with a sense of urgency that he wrote, even taking care to pen the final paragraph (or at least a part of it) in his own hand.  Some maintain that he did this to show the authenticity of the letter, because there were forgerys floating around.  Unfortunately, we fail to be gripped by his passion today; we do not lay hold of the real experience as he meant it.

Do you do this?  If you believe in Jesus, might you have added something to the gospel message that doesn't belong?  Perhaps it is telling the "unchurched" that they need to go to church without specifying that if they don't go to church they can still be saved.  Do you say what you believe, or have our morals and passive judgments become a part of today's gospel message.  Wouldn't that be a severe tragedy?

Matthew 3:11

"I baptize you with water for repentance.  But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry.  He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

This is an interesting verse.  John claims a baptism of repentance with water.  He states "one coming after him" who baptizes with the Holy Spirit and with fire.  What should we take from this?  Let's look at some more verses for help...

Mark 6:7-13

Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village.  Calling the Twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits.  These were his instructions:  "Take nothing for the journey except a staff--no bread, no bag, no money in your belts.  Wear sandals but not an extra tunic.  Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town.  And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave as a testimony against them."  Then they went out and preached that people should repent.  They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

Luke 15:3-7

Then Jesus told them this parable:  "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.  Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

Acts 2:38

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.  And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

Acts 5:31

God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might give repentance and forgiveness of sins to Israel.

Acts 8:22

Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord.  Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.

Acts 17:29-31

Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone - an image made by man's design and skill.  In the past, God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent.  For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed.  He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead.

Romans 2:4

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

Revelation 2:5

Remember the height from which you have fallen!  Repent and do the things you did at first.  If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Ok, that's a good amount of verses.  There's more.  But reviewing these verses helps us see the word repent in a few different uses.  Throughout the bible, repent seems to imply 2 distinct types of turning away from sin and towards God.  

 - Repentance of wicked ways (past).  This would be synonymous to the apostles telling everyone to repent when they were sent by Jesus.  This implies a turning away from past wickedness and at the same time turning towards God in order to receive the Holy Spirit / want to be baptized, etc.  I find it important to note that included in this type of repentance is turning away from the idea that following laws will justify you before God.  This truth seems almost worthy of an entirely separate use for repent, but it is a kind of wickedness people are to turn from.  It's an incorrect paradigm, that could and will cost you your freedom in Christ.

 - Repentance of wicked ways (recurring).  Those of us who are Christians know all too well that we continue to have to repent of things after we receive the Holy Spirit, are baptized, etc.  We continue for some reason, to sin against God.  Even though we receive salvation and we in part turn toward Him, we in part work out a process through our lives where we again and again need to repent.  Christians refer to this process as "sanctification."  

This idea blows a 1-time repentance paradigm out of the water.  To repent then, is not a 1-time occurence.  Though from some of the verses we looked at, it seems like the first time you realize you have to repent is paramount.  This event is somehow different than future times you will need to continue to turn from wickedness present in your heart (sin / iniquity).  

So we return to the initial question.  Do I have to repent to be saved?  Has the gospel message changed?

I live in a more urban setting.  I live in proximity to other houses where I can hear conversations happening on others porches when I leave my house (whether I want to or not).  There is a particular house where I overheard conversations (more like yelling directly at others) coming from the house.  Just about every other word was profanity which, one could argue, is something that after coming to Jesus would be up for pruning (or correcting).  It's one of those things that biblically is hard to support continuing.  This is, at the very least, the stance that the western church has taken.  Anyway, hearing something like that, does give me a feeling that there's something that might be broken.  I do not see or hear remorse or correction after this.  The point is, lots of profanity.

The next day, a car pulls up to the house with really loud southern gospel music playing.  I hear from inside the same house the same voice scream, "Turn it up!  Praise the Lord!  Say it Loud, Amen!"  

This is all kind of "sake of argument" stuff.  I would say though, that this person believes in Jesus Christ.  At the very least, believes in God.  (Here comes the statement that matters)  Yet, like every other believer in Jesus that I know, this person has something left in their hearts that the Holy Spirit has yet to purge from their life.  At some point, I pray according to the will of the Spirit, this person will need to "repent" of this in their life.  This will partially be an action step on their part...however without being empowered and supported by the work of the Holy Spirit in their life will not stand for long.  It is partially an action step, but even more than that it is a partnership.  It is a process that is played out in working with the Spirit of God.  An openness if you would like to call it that, to letting the Holy Spirit change your life, your actions, letting the Holy Spirit change you.

But, does the fact that at present, this person has no remorse whatsoever about profanity impact their salvation?  Could you argue that they are not saved because they show no remorse?  Do you think they might be saved if they said stuff like that, but then catch themselves and ask forgiveness of God in a recurring fashion?  

Do you believe that you go through a day and do nothing against God?

Do you believe that you ask forgiveness of God for every sin you commit?  

What about the ones in your heart?  What about the ones in your heart that you don't even know are there but God knows are there?  

This line of questioning brings me to my problem with the standard message of "You need to repent to believe in Jesus."  See, I just don't think this statement gives us enough detail and information to be the truth.  It's not that it is not the truth, but I think stated as such is a misleading truth.  It is a truth that leads me (and I believe many others) down a path that says, "I need to get my stuff straight in order to come to Jesus."  While what we really should be thinking is "I can't get my stuff straight on my own, I need to let Jesus invade my life yesterday to help me get right!"  

Because to me the truth, the power, the magnificent, gracious, merciful core of the gospel is that "while we were still sinners...Christ died for us."  The whole idea that I was dead in my transgressions means that I was dead.  I could do nothing of my own, including repent!  This brings me again to the idea that there is a partnership going on.  That it isn't so cut and dry.  The bible states that God is in all and through all.  This makes sense to me, because if God was not in me before I believed in Jesus I do not think I could have believed in Jesus or realized that I needed Jesus!  There was a partnership that was created in my heart that I did no help to manifest--that I could not have done anything about!

Which brings me to one last verse...

Genesis 15:12-19 (God's covenant with Abram)

As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him.  Then the Lord said to him, "Know for certain that your decendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years.  But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions.  You, however, will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a good old age.  In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."

When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces.  On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram and said, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the Euprates - the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites."

To catch up those of you who do not know.  Abram (later called Abraham), is the father of the Christian faith.  God appears to Abraham and makes a covenant that takes God's people (Israel) all the way through to Moses (10 commandments and the law) through to David (God establishing a kingdom) and beyond through many other godly leaders and prophets to Jesus, the Son of God.  My apologies for the extreme summary there, but I thought it important.

The Genesis verses are God concluding words about a covenant with Abram -- Abram questioning him at ever step.  Abram says "but Lord, how...but Lord, how..."  This man's faith was later reckoned to him as righteousness.  If Abram, a man who is clearly not perfect would have been part of the fulfillment of this covenant, then I would be able to believe that we would need to do something in order for Jesus to save us (like repent).  However, I am struck by the fact that Abram is asleep when "a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces."  This was God, passing between the pieces signifying that He was going to accomplish the covenant Himself.  He does this, through Jesus.  God passes through alone to signify that he will accomplish the covenant promised to Abram alone. (and through him Jesus, the seed -- see Galatians).

Praise God that He had the wisdom to walk through and seal the covenant Himself and not let someone like me, or any one of us be a part of that.  He knew better!  We don't know better, unless we are led by the Holy Spirit into understanding and vision beyond our own ability.  

So what's the final verdict?  I can't be sure.  I know this much, it is not for me to judge hearts I do not know fully.  It is for me to seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit in humility and remembering the grace and loving mercy that was shown to me; because I was a sinner when I was saved, and am still a saved sinner.  Personally, I would not have repented without the help of God...the first time or any time after that.  He is sovereign, in all and through all.  I do not believe that people will repent on their own, they need to be led to repentance by the truth of the gospel, and I would stand firm and believe that they cannot be led to repentance by anything but the loving mercy and great abounding grace granted through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

May the truth and integrity of the gospel be protected at all costs and be put on display for all people.  

Finally, I'd like to remind the audience that I don't have a degree in bible or anything of the like. I didn't go through great training and read pages of supplemental material to help me make this decision.  I believe men are qualified by God to share, teach, and preach the Word.  What I write, I write at the leading of what I believe to be the Holy Spirit breathing truth through me.  Praise God that He sees fit to use me, the broken instrument I am.  My prayer for myself is that God would continue uncovering the hidden ways of my heart, the wickedness I know not of and hit it with refining fire and great mercy that leads me to repentance; so that my life could be poured out as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.  This is my prayer for all of you as well.