Rest

Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, and I will give you rest."
A somewhat elusive statement by Jesus. Not elusive because it's indirect or vague...but because it's difficult.

How do I come to Jesus?
What does he think of me?
I haven't been doing well as of late...
What if he turns me away?
Why would he waste time on me?
Things are such a mess, how did they get this bad?
There's no hope for me, I'm too far away from God.

I've thought about these things. I know I'm not the only one. See, all of these statements are "Self-awareness" statements. It's us, looking at ourselves being aware of our current state. Let's face it, we're sinners. In other words, we're not "perfect." We're not "good" most of the time, and even if we are we aren't good enough. With statements like this we are caught up in our own self-awareness so much that we live inside a box that we have designed for ourselves...and unfortunately we've crafted a God that lives outside that box, and would not bother with us "even if he did care."
That's why it's so hard. Jesus very plainly says "Come to me." He doesn't tell you to evaluate yourself first. That will come later, as the Holy Spirit does a work in your life. The simple command is to take a few steps toward Him. To trust Him enough to lift up your cares and worries to an "unseen" savior, a righteous Lord.

More often than not, I have serious trouble coming to Jesus. It's because of self-awareness that this happens. It's not because I can't accept his Grace (even though I'm terrible at this), and it's not because I'm not qualified to be with Jesus, because he gave me the option to accept qualification by His blood when he died on the cross. I struggle because I think about how "well" I've done lately in God's eyes. I take what I know of God's character, and match it up against my character...then I do something so silly as to compare those 2 things and decide based on that the level in which Jesus will accept me today.

The truth of the matter is that Jesus wants you and me to Come to Him. We're supposed to come to him all the time. There is a rest that lies with leaning on Jesus that is not like sleep or relaxation. It's like the feeling that you are alone slowly leaving. You're sharing your worries, cares, and anxiety with the God of the Universe. I'm pretty sure He can handle it. Jesus wants us with Him, because He wants to be reflected in us. He knows that His power is enough. And that's the thing isn't it? Do you know that the love of Christ is powerful enough to love through anything you are, no matter how ugly, miserable, or rebellious?
Let me just say it in plain truth.
The Love of Christ is powerful enough to love through anything you are, no matter how ugly, miserable, or rebellious. If you're questioning whether you "should" come to Jesus or not because of a struggle with worth...there's no argument. Come to Jesus, and He will give you rest.

Discouraged or Devoted?

There was a moment when a rich young ruler came to Jesus Christ. This man had kept all of the commandments since his youth. Yet...
Luke 18:22-23: When Jesus heard these things, He said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Come, follow Me."

This man had done "nothing wrong" according to the law. What must it have felt like to be told, "Yeah, but I want to ask something more from you." This man has probably labored over decisions in his life; probably feels as if he's done pretty well overall. I suppose in many ways...he has. He's a good person. But in this example, being a good person is separated from the expectations of Jesus. There may be some expectation to be a good person, but Jesus asks more of us. Jesus just told a good person, that he needs to do one more thing before following him.

That's hard to hear. It's hard to hear that more is required, when you feel like you've given all you can possibly give. Or, in a different way, it is hard to be asked for the one thing you don't really want to give...when you've given everything else other than that one thing. I mean, you're entitled to that one thing for yourself...right? Oswald Chambers puts it like this: "Rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him...and then give God that."

Luke 18:23: "When he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich."
This is where my life becomes much like the rich young ruler's at this moment. Unlike the rich young ruler, I am not able to stand before Jesus and say, "I've kept all the commandments since my youth." The rich young ruler feels sorrowful. Why? Is it because he doesn't think he can give his money away? Is it because he loves possessions? Is it because following Jesus would cost him "too much?" Well...Yeah.

Measuring what you should do for Jesus with the current worlds perception of things makes this feel ridiculous. I mean, it's ridiculous to give everything. We work "so hard" for what we have. Why shouldn't we do what we want to with stuff? The answer is because all this stuff is His anyway. We need to love Jesus Himself. Not be proud or want to boast about our devotion to Jesus. Only Jesus is worthy of that praise. It is His Spirit that accomplishes this work in us anyway. The praise, glory, honor, and power are His.

Yet I feel sorrowful. Because I haven't yet been able to fully lay my life down for Jesus. I hope one day, I find the courage to fully receive what Jesus did for me...and live my life according to His direction, and His example. Not that I would be "perfect" exactly, but that I would be after Jesus with every ounce of energy I have.

Does He Know Me?

John 10:3 says "He calls us each by name, and we like sheep follow him...because we know his voice." This verse goes on to say that we do not follow him as a stranger.

Sometimes I wonder whether I know God. I've been trying to "get life right" for about 8 years now, and I feel lost more than I thought I would at 28. The sheep analogy doesn't really make much sense at the moment...I'm not sure that I would recognize His voice. God does know me however, He knows me all too well. He knows how he built me, and how I'm designed to work.

It's funny how people will talk about God a bunch, but sometimes won't say the name of "Jesus." It must be reserved for those "Jesus Freaks" out there. You have to be certified in crazy to go around talking about Jesus. You really can't separate God from Jesus though. At least, not if you are looking at the God of the Bible; the God of Israel; the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

God knows me. He knows you. Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach that God knows me, because I wonder how he could accept me, or love me, or call me by name when I've screwed up and stabbed Him in the heart so many times...on purpose. I think about Jesus, and how he died; I'm the cause of a bunch of the pain he went through. One of those lashes on his back was to purchase my life. Some of the blood that was spilled was to cover my sins; to shield my iniquity from the sight of our Father. Jesus did that. God is righteous. He is Holy. Nothing can be around him that isn't Holy. We aren't Holy. Something or someone needed to make us Holy in the eyes of God. Jesus did that. He's the only one that could have done that.

He knows me. If He didn't know me He wouldn't have sent Jesus. He did send Jesus. Jesus willingly came out of heaven to live on earth. Not just to live on earth, to die for our sins. The trick is that it's a gift. Lots of things in me rise up against accepting this kind of thing for free. But there is nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do to deserve what Jesus did for me. There's nothing I can do to get to heaven on my own. I can't be a good enough person to be with God. I can only accept the gift of life that was given to me by God Himself, through Jesus Christ: Son of God, Son of Man.

He knows me and he calls out to me by name. Ever reaching for me, offering everlasting life. Not some day, but today and every day.