Water from a Rock

Tonight, a dear friend of mine was obedient to God.

Because of his obedience, and because God is always faithful, water was driven out of a rock.

The rock was me.

Recently, for a longer period of time than I would like to admit, I have been very angry with God. Put quite simply, I have been angry with Him because my life is not going the way I think it should --either for me or for His glory. More on this in my last post entitled, "Immovable."

This evening, in the span of about 1 1/2 hours this extreme anger and selfishness was assaulted by the Word of God. Ironically, something that has been within my reach the whole time --but I just couldn't be bothered with it. Ever been there?

----The Triumphant Entry: Jesus enters Jerusalem--Luke 19:29-44---

"29As he (Jesus) approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, 30"Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 31If anyone asks you, 'Why are you untying it?' tell him, 'The Lord needs it.' "

32Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. 33As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, "Why are you untying the colt?"

34They replied, "The Lord needs it."

35They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. 36As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.

37When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

38"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"[b]

"Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

39Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

40"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

41As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you."

In verse 45, Jesus continues on and clears out the temple.

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These verses are screaming new meaning as I type this. I see so much more than I saw before.

- Jesus knows of a colt and can direct His disciples on exactly what needs to be done with it. --With relationship to our hearts, Jesus knows the situation, and the dynamic duo of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God are equipped to take down any type of adversity your heart has to offer.

- People spread their cloaks along the road, and the disciples shout aloud these extremely heretical statements praising Jesus as the one that is to come. Put yourself in this situation. Are you getting a glimpse of the picture?

- Pharisees feebly attempt to stand in the way by voicing dispute and claiming blasphemy on the part of the disciples for praising Jesus and proclaiming Him King. Jesus responds to their folly by saying, "I tell you, if they keep quiet even the stones will cry out." --

This is a moment of magnitude. Creation can barely contain itself. I can see rocks shuttering ready to burst praise to their creator any moment should the praising stop. They tremble simply at the presence of the one true God. The assurance of our loving Father's design and desire for us is being made known through the God-man named Jesus.

- Jesus weeps for the city. The disobedience impacts Him. Even though He has come to save. He has come to reconcile and put the story right...the disobedience hurts Jesus. These people do not know Him. They do not recognize Him for who He is. He is the carpenter from Galilee, Joseph's son, Mary's boy...but no Messiah.

- Jesus enters the city, goes to the temple and cleans house on the things that are not of God. -- He desires the same thing with regards to us; and sometimes he does it through the obedience of another.

Moses, from what I recall, has 2 encounters with 2 different rocks in the desert. The first encounter, Moses simply speaks at God's command, and water gushes forth from the rock. The second time, He is instructed to speak to the rock and instead strikes it twice with his staff. Water still comes out - but that costs Moses entering into the promise land.

(See also Psalm 78)

The point is:

God produces something life-giving out of something that is not alive.

Colossians 2:13-14

"13When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,[a] God made you[b] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross."

Ephesians 2:1-10

" 1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

There is no explanation of what happened tonight other than the power of God. For months I have been breaking apart at the seams and what is left has been hardening toward God. Yet, in the presence of God and with the hearing of the Word of Truth I started to say things that mattered. I found myself speaking about God positively and to encourage others from out of nowhere. The truth broke me open and poured me out.

This part is important. You need to know that I was sure I was broken. What I mean by this is that I convinced myself that I was broken beyond repair and that God did not care to restore me. Convinced that my existence was optional and that God would do nothing special with me. Convinced that I was not a thought it God's mind anymore; all despite the fact that I knew better.

Praise God that He saw fit to send help to me --

For more see:

- Romans 12:1-2

- Matthew 17:14-21

- Romans 5

Immovable

There are 2 sides to every story. At least, to this story. I guess there could be more sides, but in this example there are only 2 sides. One side is the side of God. The other side is the side of whoever goes up against Him.

This one's for the family. When I say that someone is going up against God, I don't mean enemies. I mean children. God's children, to be precise. If you were someone fortunate enough to have parents that tried to care for you when you were a kid - you know what I'm talking about.

Remember when you wanted to do something. It could be anything, like go rock-climbing with a friend at the age of 8 or something. Maybe it was spend the night at a friends house - only your parents hadn't met their parents and weren't willing to take the risk that their (son or daughter) would be hurt or in danger in some way. Especially when it came to "house rules." The old, "My house, my rules!" statement that parents always say with such pride and arrogance. At least, it looks like pride and arrogance at the time to us kids trying to do what we want.

In those moments, I would argue, that there is about 65% of the kids that are just trying to experience life and excited to do something new and different. To some extent, we live with this urge our entire lives, and it's not always the sinful nature acting as the driving force for that. We want to experience. We want to live. Wired to be free...

Yet, until we reach a "certain age" some of us find ourselves up against parents. I remember many times when my Dad would come to retrieve me from a video arcade. I'd already spent hours playing video games and I would see him coming in my peripheral vision without even looking away from the game I was playing. By the time I recognize my Dad, I'm already determined to make this game last as long as possible - and plotting my way into asking if I can play another game should I meet an untimely demise in the current game. I've already in my mind decided what I want to do. Enter the immovable object (Dad) - at least when you are 12 Dad is mostly immovable.

I would dash straight for my Dad when I was a kid not getting what I wanted. I'd physically try to hit him. I remember it. I thought if I swung hard enough, that he'd just give up and leave me to do what I wanted to do in the first place. That's what most kids do as they are learning discipline - especially if they are not learning it...but when they learn it too. They try everything and anything to get or do what they want to do.

My Dad would either hold me so tight that it hurt my arms (which did stop the tantrum), or just pick me up and take me out of there. As I got stronger and bigger, he started not to have a choice but to let me go and use other means of "discipline." You know, like revoking gaming privileges once I got home from the arcade. Yeah, I was hooked to say the least.

The point is that parents tend to not "compromise" on certain things. Some things, sure...others though - not so much. God is no different. In His sovereignty, He does not compromise. If God is the God of Israel, there are no grounds on which He needs to compromise at all. If you find yourself in a compromise with God, it is only that you see it as a compromise...and you are wrongly labeling his mercy.

I've spent the last few months throwing punches at God, and honestly, I'm not sure when or if I'm going to stop. One thing I do know is that God is not moving. He continues to be God, he continues to be faithful, He continues to be working His plans out on this earth and in heaven, He continues to be my father, and I continue to be an adopted Son. The fact that this is true makes me more and more angry the more I punch. Just like a kid when they realize that the tantrum isn't working.

I wonder how long it is going to take until I realize that trying to take extra punches at God isn't going to do anything? Ironically, it has even gone so far that I somehow have justified that if I punish myself, then He will have to do something because it will prove that His way isn't what is best? Manipulation tactics hard at work on God. I recognize that I'm doing these things, and I know fully that God knows that I'm doing these things.

So why don't I stop?

The truth is that I love myself more than I love God. WAY more. So much more that I'm willing to try purposefully to hurt Him rather than give up all the good stuff I thought was in me...wait for it...which includes most of the good stuff that I thought He put in me. That doesn't make sense - - does it? Abraham and Isaac ring a bell? Not going to get into that again, that point has been proven.

The point now is my purposefulness about loving myself before and more than God. Putting effort into the tantrum about the FACT that God is bleeding certain things out of me that change the very fabric of who I am - - and honestly I believe it is for the worst. When I survey me - the changes make me nothing special...and I can't even tell you how much I hate that. Yeah, this one is personal, so that is going to show in how I say it.

I don't know if what I'm talking about here applies to everyone across the board. I know that it applies to me though, because I prayed for a long time that God would not let me escape His Will for my life. What a stupid prayer. Honestly, if I could take that kind of thing back, I would right now. It hurts so much and I feel so lost that I want it back. And that brings me to the fact that God is immovable. I can't get to the prayer to take it back because now God has it and is doing it and there's nothing I can do about it because it was a prayer that was/is according to His will and purpose. And just like a kid, that seems very arrogant to me - rigid and uncompromising. Unfair and without justice. What a ridiculous wretch I am.

This is the part where I say all the Jesus stuff that get to the point. The stuff like that He died and rose for us and was beaten for us and who am I to rule justice or proclaim something is fair. Yeah, yeah - I heard all that before. Next I'm supposed to say that there's something comfortable about the fact that God doesn't move because look, now He's doing something in my life that, if I had it my way, wouldn't be done. And, since God works out everything for His glory, for the good, and has plans to prosper us and a future for us - I should be jumping for joy and praising God.

Needless to say, that's not really my strong suit.

I guess all I have to say is take refuge and find freedom in the fact that God is immovable. (that's if you believe in Jesus)

If you don't believe in Jesus, fear God and recognize that HE IS IMMOVABLE. He will not be compromising with you after this life for your ticket into Heaven. Jesus or bust kid.

The Gospel?

The Gospel is a person. That person is Jesus. Jesus is fully God, and fully man.

The Gospel is viewed through a paradigm. That paradigm is many times, our culture.

The Gospel is exemplified and perfected through relationship.

The Gospel does not apply without faith.

The Gospel reserves a special role for Israel, and for the Church.

Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible."

The Bible is an account of God's love story. It is His "eternal drama" as John Elderidge puts it in his book, "The Sacred Romance." It describes to us who God is, and tells of people who were trying to figure out what it meant to live for Him in their times, and in their culture. The Bible is evidence that God had...and has something to say to all people. His message of love is clear.

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If we do not have faith, we cannot hope to see "the Gospel" separate from the paradigm of our culture. I believe this is necessary if we hope to ascertain and lay hold of that which Christ laid hold of us for. If we cannot view the Gospel outside of the constraints of our culture, I do not believe we can appropriately act from inside our culture, towards that which God has for us.

I will spend my life seeking, yet not fully understanding these things.

That is not a wasted life.

These entries have seen this statement before:

There is nothing more important than the gospel.

Nothing.

Right of Passage

Genesis 27 describes some family dysfunction that I'm not going to pretend I understand. I don't. The basic scenario is that Esau (an older brother) has his blessing robbed by his younger brother Jacob. Jacob doesn't really want to do it but Rebekah, his mother, has other ideas and talks him into tricking his father Isaac into blessing him. Esau pleads to Isaac to be considered for a blessing but Isaac simply responds, "I have made your brother lord over you, what more can I do?" At this point, Esau is filled with rage and wants to kill his brother Jacob for stealing his birthright. Honestly, I'd feel the same way.

That's what happens. Now Jacob, again because his mother wants it this way, gets sent to his grandfather's house to find a wife in Paddan Aram. He's supposed to talk to his uncle about a wife. Picture your dad saying, "Son, go see your uncle in Philly about a wife." I live in Pennsylvania...what can I say?

To not get caught up in extreme details or dream interpretation, Jacob has a dream in which God speaks to him. Basically, God says that He's going to bless Jacob and Jacob responds with "Awesome! If you make sure I return safely from my trip, you will be my God and I'll give you a tenth of what you give me!" It kind of sounds like, "Let's make a deal!"

Fast forward, Jacob makes it to Paddan Aram. He meets some guys that are from Haran, asks about Laban, and sees Rachel. He goes over to help out with watering the sheep. Basically, the bible says that he just kisses Rachel and starts to weep aloud. I guess this was the way to a girl's heart back then... (Seriously, it's probably something cultural here that I'm missing. Probably what you do when you want to marry someone - but that's just a guess.) Laban hears about Jacob being here, comes running and greets him (with a kiss again). Jacob tells Laban why he is there, and Laban confirms that's a good deal.

From the Bible's text, it seems like Jacob stayed for 1 month and worked for Laban without pay. Laban questions this and asks Jacob to name his wages. Jacob says that he'll work for 7 years if Laban gives him Rachel in marriage (whoa buddy - 7 years!?). So, 7 years go by and Jacob gets right to the point and says..."Laban, my time is complete...give me my wife so that I can lie with her." Straight to the point lad!

Now Laban does something that I just can't get over as many times as I go over it in my head. They have a feast celebrating this and he switches his daughter's on Jacob. Jacob has sex with Leah, instead of Rachel...I would guess without knowing it because he wakes up and asks Laban what the deal is. I can't blame him...that's just unbelievable. Laban tells Jacob that he's going to have to work another 7 years to get Rachel. Jacob agrees, which I think is pretty amazing. So Jacob now has 2 wives, and he loves one more than the other. (The bible says so.)

A few notes before we fast forward. Following the time when Jacob marries Rachel, a lot of posturing happens between Jacob and Laban - also between Rachel and Leah. Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah - (sound familiar?) - Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Isaacar, Zebulun, and Dinah. After 11 kids, Joseph finally is born. Remember, that's 10 sons + a daughter...then Joseph...then later Benjamin (way later). At this point, only Joseph is actually from Rachel, because she's been barren all this time. Leah's battle for Jacob's affection and Rachel's responds makes all this possible. Whew.

Oh yeah, and I should mention that Jacob basically decides to take almost nothing from Laban even though Laban has been blessed by Jacob's presence when he wants to go. Somehow, God turns this decision into Jacob becoming the owner of Laban's entire flock. (The bible tells you how that happens).

All this happens, and God says to Jacob, go back to your home land. (Paraphrased)

He does (with all of his house, which is lots of people now). He sends lots of his possessions across the Jordan to appease Esau before he goes back in the hopes that Esau won't kill him. He prays that God would deliver him from Esau, and recognizes that God has made a great house out of him. Only Jacob, his wives, and the 11 sons stay with him.

That's a lot of history for what I'm trying to get at. If I don't tell you that though, the heart of the matter has no foundation.

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Genesis 32: 22-29

"That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

²⁷ The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^{e]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[e]} because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

²⁹ Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, ^{f]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[f]} saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

³¹ The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, ^{g]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[g]} and he was limping because of his hip. ³² Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon."

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Jacob has lots of possessions. Why is a man wrestling with Jacob? The subtitle in the bible says "Jacob wrestles with God" so we know the man is supposed to resemble God. Yet, the bible says that a man wrestles with Jacob until daybreak. What is going on here?

Jacob is faced here, with confronting his fear. Esau is one representation of who Jacob is. The very identity of Jacob is defined by being a trickster. He stole the birthright, he stole Laban's flock (even if it was with God's blessing), he's basically swindled everyone out of everything he's gained. He has wives that trick each other and compete just like he did with his brother (which his mother helped with). Everything in his life points to strife and deceit.

Jacob (the trickster) collides with God. Jacob has been hearing from God over the years, but has been living out of an unhealthy fear. Jacob doesn't fear God at this point, he fears himself. He is afraid of what / who he is, and what that might mean for his future. There's no way he's crossing the Jordan without God - almost as importantly...without God's blessing.

There is a turn in Jacob's grappling from wrestling, to clinging. It happens when the "God-man" puts Jacob's hip out of joint with a simple touch. Kind of a foreshadowing to Peter sinking and crying out, "Lord, save me!"

Simply put, God desires for our lives are to be shaped around a clinging to Him, not a wrestling with Him - although he's got no problem wrestling you until you cling. I believe there are seasons when we wrestle with different issues or truths and the like, but generally speaking - we are to cling to God in desperate dependence and recognition of His sovereignty. The moment you transition from wrestling to clinging, defines your life. I believe this experience drives deep within us and shakes us apart for the glory of God. Most importantly though - it creates us anew. Jacob's very identity is changed by this experience.

God broke Jacob's hip to make him cling. What does God have to break in your life to make this happen? You are not better than Jacob, something needs to break in order to cling to God. Have you been broken, or are you yet to be broken? When you are, will you cling? Will you refuse to let go of God? Will you refuse to forsake His name as He is breaking your life apart in ways that He has every right to because He is sovereign? Will you grip him and demand that He bless you? Can you understand that God is breaking you so that He may be glorified and you may be lifted up in the end like Jacob was?

Personally, I run to video games and movies when God tries to break me. I'm no Jacob, but God keeps letting me wrestle with Him in hopes that one day, I won't let go...until He blesses me. This is the equivalent of not crossing the Jordan. I simply cling to the escape routes I've designed to avoid going head to head with God.

Do you believe Him for that?

Do You Trust Me?

Genesis 22:1-3

¹ Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

² Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

³ Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.

OK, read that again. There's no rush...really.

Now that you have read it a 2nd time, ask yourself honestly - would I do that if God asked me?

No wonder that Abraham is the father of many nations. Take a look at this verse people. And it's just the beginning. God basically says, "Take the person you love, the person that I gave you - and sacrifice him."

Really put yourself in his shoes. Role play here and make it as if God is talking with you.

"Take the person you love, the person that I gave you and sacrifice him/her."

For some of you, that is a friend, for those who are married - a spouse. For those married with children, perhaps one of those children (or all of them, pick one). Could you do it?

Here's a question, does it even make sense that God would ask something like that of you? I maintain that we have culturalized God so much that we have a completely warped perspective of what he may or may not have us do in order to glorify Himself! Our view of God shrinks daily and our faith is definitely NOT that of a mustard seed (and I don't mean we don't have enough faith, it more screams that we aren't at peace with the right kind of faith). We cannot comprehend, let alone get to the question, "Could we do it?" The truth is that we would dismiss the thought before it even had a chance to sink in - if it even could sink in at all!

Next, Abraham gets all the supplies ready in order to sacrifice his son, readies 2 people to help him out, and then gets on his donkey! He's going through with this!

Genesis 22:6,7

⁶ Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, ⁷ Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Are you serious? I don't even know if I can imagine this right...

I want you to notice the faith Isaac has in his father, and the innocence of his heart in this moment.

Genesis 22:8

⁸ Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

Without skipping a beat, Abraham answers Isaac's question brilliantly. He doesn't lie, yet he spares his son panic and confusion that most definitely would have followed. At least, I think it would have. Reading the words, I can't even believe that Abraham thought of that on his own. I have suspicion that God is lending Abraham His wisdom in this moment to give Isaac peace so that Abraham's faith can be put on display for God.

Genesis 22:9-12

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. ¹⁰ Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. ¹¹ But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

¹² "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

I don't think there is a man or woman on earth that would have made it this far. Abraham has the knife poised and ready to strike His son before "the angel of the Lord" calls out to him from heaven. Only now does the truth come. "Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Only when you give up "the stuff you love" can you fear God. If you are not willing to give these things up for God if/when He asks, you do not fear Him - and in turn you cannot trust Him.

God asked Abraham to do this as a test. God wanted to see how far Abraham was willing to go...whether or not Abraham trusted God. Abraham passed because he would have done it. If we was not going to do it God would not have needed to stop him. God knew Abraham was really going to kill his own son because of His faith. If God does not step in, Abraham kills Isaac. This is why Abraham passes the test. Did you hear it that time? It is not because he showed up on the mountain, not because he built the altar, not because he brought his son, not because he raised the knife; but because he was ready (somehow...) to kill his son because God said so.

If you do not fear God, not only can you not trust Him - you cannot love Him. He can love you though that mess, but you cannot love Him through all of it. Without fear of God, you will not cast yourself upon God without looking back. You will stretch yourself so thin trying to build the bridge between what you can't let go of and God. Doing this breaks people apart, and we see it all the time in this world - and we continue to see it more and more. Most people that do this end up blaming God for stuff. God doesn't settle for 2nd in your life. He just doesn't.

In my last post, "The Heart of Losing your Life" I mentioned that the state of your heart is what God is really after. I share this example of Abraham with you because I'm trying to drive home this point in a very different way. God had to know that there was NO part of his life that was more dear to Abraham than God. At the core, God is jealous FOR us and will not take a back seat to anyone, or anything. Should you, as a parent, take a back seat to your baby's rattle? What about the baby's pacifier? How ridiculous does that even sound? Of course you shouldn't take a back seat to those things because of 2 important reasons! First, because you as a parent are the source of how the baby gets the rattle or pacifier. Second, because you are the source of everything they need. At least, in their world you are. If this is true, why do you expect God to be different with us, than you are with your children?

This is what Abraham believed. I would say that he understood, but he didn't get how it all worked. Abraham knew that if God told him to do something, that he should do it because God is God and had a better plan than Abraham could come up with. Abraham trusted God implicitly. This is the same thing that Jesus is asking of the rich young ruler. Jesus asks him to "go sell all of this possessions." The only difference is that Abraham did what God asked, the rich young ruler couldn't. Look at the story of Abraham in light of Jesus Christ. Jesus was the fulfillment of the law, and turned toward your heart all of this difficult nonsense that used to be burnt offerings and the like. God still looks to your heart for burnt offerings. He is looking for you to put on the altar the stuff that is piled on top of your heart preventing you from trusting Him.

I have been alive for 30 years (To some of you that will seem like forever, to others not so much). Not one time have I witnessed someone trust God implicitly. Not one time. It has always been conditional or half-hearted. It has never been like what I read in Genesis. God has not changed since then. He is still God. We are the descendants of Abraham, we should expect the same God as he did.

Let go. Trust Him.

The Heart of Losing Your Life

Matthew 16:24-26

²⁴Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. ²⁶What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

People seem to like quoting this scripture. Pastors, mentors, teachers, those who would teach us something about God, about life, about others, or about ourselves.

Thing is, most don't tell you that it is going to be hard. They don't tell you that you're going to get angry with God about losing your life...or that it's not all sunshine and roses.

I met a good pastor today. From the start of our conversation, there were no punches pulled, no pretending things were going to get better / easier. I knew the truth, and I was told it in love, which affirmed me a great deal. All that man had to do was show up, and be who God made Him to be.

On the other hand, there's this guy:

Matthew 19:15-23

¹⁶ Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”
¹⁷ So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
¹⁸ He said to Him, “Which ones?”
Jesus said, “ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ¹⁹ ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
²⁰ The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”
²¹ Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
²² But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

See, this scripture points to the heart of losing your life. What is so special about these possessions? "He had great possessions?" What made them so great? Why does this man turn away from the conversation sorrowful, instead of with urgency and exhilaration. Jesus just told him exactly what he wanted to know...right? The rich young ruler gets what he came for...but not what he wanted.

The rich young ruler defines himself by his possessions. It's part of "who He is" to himself. If you would ask him who he is, I imagine at this point he would say something about him being successful and making the right choices and that God has blessed him and that's the reason for everything. My point in this entry is this...Jesus asks him to sell his possessions not because He wants or needs this man to give to the poor; but because the rich young ruler needs to sell his possessions and give to the poor to be able to have treasure in heaven. Oh yeah...and go follow Jesus too.

The position of the possessions in the man's heart is the issue. The position of the great possessions is higher on the list than inheriting eternal life. And...don't think that just because you don't have a lot, this can't be your problem. You don't have to have lots of stuff to covet having lots of stuff - and this is a new one to me...but it's the same thing as far as your heart is concerned. Jesus wants your heart completely. The whole thing. He's not going to compete against possessions, pride, or any of that other stuff that creates a false image of you to make you feel better about how He fits into your life. Your heart needs to be full of Christ; and let the rest of what comes overflow from that.

Case & point:

Matthew 6:25-34

"²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The rich young ruler couldn't get a grip on the fact that he wasn't in control of his own life. His attitude then reflected that his heart didn't know how to change. He leaves sorrowful because he doesn't know how to do what Jesus has just asked of him. He wants eternal life, but can't do what is asked of him. Let me say again that is isn't that he could "go sell all his possessions and give to the poor" it is that he can't change his heart. Right now, his heart is full of things he's done to earn his way to eternal life. He's fulfilled all the commandments, yet he still comes asking what he needs to do? What more does he need to do?

Another point is this: He is told to do something He cannot do. He can't make his heart change. God is the one in the business of changing hearts. Now I've heard mixed reviews on this, and my own personal verdict is still out. Some tell me that you can change your own heart, others tell me that it's God's job. I guess thinking about it, it is a co-operation of sorts. It's not that you really "do" anything, but it is that you let the Holy Spirit shape your heart however God sees fit. Therefore, you are shaped, your life is shaped, your words are shaped - by God for His purposes to His glory. That puts God on center stage, and not you...which is how it should be.

The rich young ruler couldn't give up the stage IN HIS HEART to Jesus. Can you?

Blessed are those Who Believe, Yet have not Seen

Yesterday as I was holding one of my newborn daughters in my arms, she started to cry out for something. Here's the thing, she's 1 month old; what could she possibly want? She could be hungry, she could need her diaper changed, or she could just be crying out because she cannot really see much unless it is right in front of her face.

I learned this in my journey toward fatherhood. Babies, for the first "while" after they are born cannot focus or see much of anything unless you're really close to their face. You have this little person (or little people in my case) that can't see and her only way to communicate with us big people is to make a noise. Not to mention, it's the only noise she can make right now. There's variations to the noise, but it's all basically a type of crying out.

The point is that the world, to newborns, is extremely fuzzy. They can see variations and stuff...but they do not see the physical world like we see it. Their eyes need to be trained.

John 20:24-29

"Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, 'We have seen the Lord.' So he said to them, 'Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.' And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, 'Peace to you!' Then He said to Thomas, 'Reach your finger here, and look at my hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.' And Thomas answered and said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him, 'Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'"

Thomas needed to see and touch in order to believe. Thomas wanted to use the physical senses he had to convince himself of the impossible. Something had happened that was impossible. I think sometimes we are hard on Thomas here. People came and told Thomas that Jesus had risen from the dead; not an easy sell. Of course, if a group of people corroborate the story - - it's harder to not go along with it. Even still, I think Thomas shows us that no matter how overwhelming the stories are toward proving the impossible true, we will still seek some kind of proof before we believe it. Honestly, I kind of applaud Thomas in part for his ability to stand his ground and not believe. It had to take some kind of courage to tell all the other disciples that he wasn't going along with this nonsense that Jesus was alive. Right or wrong - he defended what he thought to be the truth. Don't be a hypocrite and judge Thomas so quickly, we do this all the time.

For a second time, Jesus hits the scene and greets the disciples. He goes right to Thomas and they go through proving that Jesus is who He says He is. Thomas now believes because it has been proven to him to be true according to the standards that He created in His own heart. Jesus gave Him what He needed to believe. Like the awesome savior He is Jesus follows this up with a brief teaching statement, "Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed."

Which brings me to an interesting point. 2 things that sometimes seem to stand in direct contradiction to one another. Defending the truth and believing. I don't know that I've ever seen a human being defend a truth they claimed not to understand. I've seen them defend things they think they understand mostly, or are trying desperately to understand - but not something that is hopeless for them to understand. That's the trick of it. We cannot hope to understand how it is that Jesus stood in the midst of the disciples; how it is that He rose to be seated at the right hand of the Father; how it is that He sent the Holy Spirit to us; any more than we can understand the ways of God. We believe these things by faith, because (I would argue) we cannot be shown these things. The separateness of God is so great that if He would describe to us how it worked I think we would lose Him at, "Well, you see it's like this..."

Let's stop back at the teaching statement again to finish up.

"Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed."

I see a hidden challenge in this verse to Thomas from Jesus. Very clearly, it is a message to Thomas that it is better to not need to see in order to believe. In other words, your faith should not be tied to something as physical as your own sight. That being said, it begs the question...what should your faith be tied to? How to we keep on believing?

I'd like to suggest that how we choose to see our world and the circumstances that occur within our field of view greatly shapes the state of our faith. For example, do you have faith that God is with you in a difficult circumstance in your life; or is it that when God responds to your difficult situation you will praise Him because He clearly (in hindsight) is worthy? It is a subtle difference in principle, but a great chasm in practice. Your attitude through a difficult time will reflect whether your faith is tossed to and fro like a weed blowing in the wind, or whether it is founded on the cornerstone that is Christ, not shaken by all that you see - because you are assured of what is unseen.

Believe.