The other posts on this blog are all about God...so don't worry, we'll get there. I think the action I described in the previous paragraph is truly a pet peeve of mine. It's not always the other person's fault, sometimes people can't help but be rude, and act in complete disregard of your hope to relationally connect with others...right? I'm sure other people have written about this before, but I call this the 1-up syndrome.
The 1-up syndrome is defined (by me) as: The inability to funnel the presentation of your life experience in tandem with the relational, emotional, and sometimes mental well being of those you care about. I know, it's just not fair of me to expect so much of other people - - especially in a society where we've got to pry real relationship out of each other with a proverbial crowbar.
Actually, when I think about it, we're really kind of sensitive. I the vast majority of us who are sane and seeking relationships have a soft spot. You know, the spot where if someone else doesn't handle it with care it will break apart and you'll never forget the insincerity of that person for years? In general, I think we all have things that we can't help but to take personally; and to be honest this is probably one of mine. But, because I can't help but think about how God works in absolutely everything...I'm led to share something related to the 1-up syndrome I'll refer to as "False Humility."
See, it was all fun and games (kind of), until I was telling a story one time about how God had been awesome in my life. I think I was talking about my trip to Honduras or something. I don't remember the exact story. Someone in the group said almost the words I described above, "If you think that's awesome, wait until you hear my story about God!"
Let me hit pause and apologize for the cynicism that's about to come forth. It might get thick, but I can't help it. I realize that this person was probably just trying to share something great that God had done in their life. It's just that it was framed up against something I had said and made out to be the empire state building to my hot dog stand. Has empathy been completely obliterated in today's culture?
Back to the story. I felt like the person needed a lesson in pride reduction or something! What right did they have to prop up their experience of God next to mine and minimize something they hadn't been through!? That's when my wheels started spinning about it. (Not to mention, I didn't even hear the other person's story...which is a whole other matter). 2 things were bothering me. First, were the people even going to remember my story now? Second, did this person even hear me? Did you hear the common denominator in those 2 statements? That's right...ME.
So often we tell stories (clearly...I tell stories) about God, but God is not the center of those stories. In my own mind, I'm the center of the stories, and they are all about what God has done for...ME. Ahem. While I maintain my initial point that relationship demands a bit more empathy, I also recognize that most people need some work and many of them don't even realize it. Isn't that the trouble. You're the center of your own story.
Here it comes. The tie in to why the title is "The Spiritual Locker Room." We just have to rate everything! So much of our current culture is people silently (or not silently) rating or measuring what something means to them. A story, an experience, a person, a job, their children, their spouse, church, God, etc. Pick anything, and I bet you know where it falls in a long line of importance you've racked up in your head. What are the rules for how you measure? What purpose does measuring at all serve us?
Before I was in High School, I used to hear "horror" stories about how when I got to the locker room, all the boys were going to get together and measure. I'll leave it at that. I heard rumors that girls locker rooms were the same. Like it was some kind of status symbol. Depending on who you are...it might still be; but that is neither here nor there. The point is that if you're trying to live your life God's way, looking at measuring anything against anyone Else's anything isn't really the way to go. Why? One word: ENVY.
This post now kind of ties into the one on Warring in the Spirit because Envy is a slippery enemy. It comes for everyone, Christian and not alike. Oh boy does it come after you. Look at today's culture. Here's a snapshot (Reality TV, Sex, Entertainment, Gadgets, Family). Ever envied one of those things. Ever envied someone on Survivor, or a beautiful actor / model (male or female), a friend who had a 5 zillion inch flat-screen TV, a cool new phone or mp3 player, or someone who had a family - when you so desperately want one of your own? We set ourselves up to envy others and it has chipped its way into our relationships so that we don't even know it's there most of the time. Obviously, my spin on this is God-related.
To reel in what we've talked about, we started with the 1-up syndrome, moved to false humility, and have brought the discussion to how envy plays a huge role in our lives in today's culture. Humility is so hard. Can you imagine that Jesus lived his life and never envied 1 thing? Not $$$, not a marriage relationship, not that he didn't have food in the desert; not a thing. I can't even imagine it; I can't go 24 hours without envying something someone else has...or wanting something I don't. It's ridiculous when I think about it. If it is this hard anyway, then why do we (as Christians) stand for it in our relationships with one another? I think we as a whole are most guilty with material possessions. But everything really applies.
OK, the point. The point is this: pick and choose when to share your stuff. Use the Holy Spirit a little and think about your audience. God is awesome, and we should share Him with each other often! A little compassion and empathy wouldn't hurt - and it might just save you some friends. Make God the center of your stories, because He is. When you recognize envy creeping into a discussion or thought process; stop it! Your brothers and sisters in Christ need you to point out that stuff to them and in them; and you need them to point it out to you in you. It will hurt the first few times until you start to realize how hurtful what you're doing is to others, to God...but most of all to yourself. Envy would love to rob you of relationships, and treasure in heaven. Don't stand for it.
I feel a little bit like I rambled on this one. Here's some scripture to put everything together. Be led by the Holy Spirit!
Galatians 5:19-27
"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."
