Blurring Ideals

I'm 31. Some of my friends say that we're young adults. I guess that is partially true. Though, since having kids 7 months ago, I feel like I am traveling light speed toward old age - and they are only 7 months. I still have yet to go through the famed terrible 2's, kids not wanting to share anything, fighting, and being challenged every day by the general responsibility of parenting. Things do change though as you move on in life. Kids, marriage, graduating from high school, getting a job and entering the workforce, kids moving out, kids starting school, kids going to college; all of these things propel us into different seasons of our lives.

Sorry, I digress.
I'm 31. I'm not exactly old though either. If a 10, 12, or 15 year old were to meet me, I'm sure they would think that I am old. The younger someone is the older they believe other people to be that are older than them. It's quite an amazing thing to observe. I used to think it as a teenager. I thought my life would be over if I ever hit 30, and I thought to myself, "I have xx amount of years left until I'm 30 - time to accomplish anything!" Here I am, 31. I've been part of some amazing accomplishments and experiences. Hurricane Relief in the aftermath of Katrina and Gustav, Honduras to build homes, leader of multiple bible study small groups, men's groups, and a kids church. Through these groups, I had the privilege to meet men and women who had gone before me. Men who already had children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Catching a glimpse of the wealth of experience offered these men from the trials and joys of life, I find myself in a moment that seems fitting to reflect on my own life. To look objectively, and yet then to turn again and look at my life through the eyes of my heart.

Whew...again I digress.
31. It's not old age, but it's not exactly young anymore. I have enough experience to scare me into living comfortably, but not enough that I have quite given up risking it all to see dreams come true. I believe a large part of "American Culture" people have dreams. This is a luxury that we take for granted. I can't help but to think of the people in Haiti who, in the aftermath of a terrible earthquake, are fighting to scrape the pieces of their lives back together. What of their dreams? What were they like to begin with? I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure that there are less freedoms available in Haiti than in the United States. And, that's without an earthquake taking down 98% of your lifestyle. Self perception and your world view greatly shape the size and feasibility of the dreams you dream. Perhaps you don't dream. Maybe you are one of the people who decides to sneer at dreams and laugh in the face of hope. Other people dream, while you kick back, stack your chips, and live the "individualized" American Dream - - meaning the one filled with a life of greed and focused on 1 person. Self.

For many, in the last 12-16 months, the American Dream has come to a halt. Granted, not for a majority of America...but I'd say about 10-15%. This is a general ratio of people who have been directly impacted by our economic disaster. Financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually...in every way. A majority of America though, continues on as it always has - living the individualized American Dream, lulled to complacency by the fact that they can still collect a paycheck and catch the different TV shows on prime time when they expect to. Wait...my fault - I forgot we have DVR and on demand now, we don't have to be anywhere at any specific time to watch what we want. Now watching whatever we want, whenever we want, however much we want doesn't really cost us anything other than $$$. Which, ironically enough, people don't have but decide to spend anyway. Where is hope to be found? Should we look to the powers that govern us? Should we look to our families and friends? Who will be there if the economy doesn't recover? What if this crisis changes the face of America as we know it?

It is kind of like growing old. Many of us make compromises with ourselves as we grow old. The smattering of hope that once filled our hearts and shot forth from our eyes dims a bit; colored by a hint of cynicism. We begin to see that lots of people really don't care about making life better for anyone else - and a good portion of the rest have their hands tied behind political, emotional, or physical red tape that disables them from making a positive impact. Before this gets too dismal for you, let me say that I have met a great many good, well-intentioned people in my life that have done all they could to help me or someone else they know. While actions and hearts like these are vital to the life of America as we know it, I can't help but wonder whether we are slowly losing the freedom to act with such selflessness. I'd say that is probably the best case scenario.

So far, this is probably the entry that is least biblically grounded. Let's try and turn this around.


If I believe when things are good, and do not believe when things are bad...I am nothing but a weed, tossed to and fro by the "winds" of change. In this case I serve the God of convenience and provision but not the God of discipline or the God that tests me. See what I did there? I took one of the things that God has promised to be - the provider - and I have made God only that in all He is. How silly and selfish of me to believe that God is whatever I WANT Him to be. I swear it seems like I'm repeating myself constantly, but America doesn't get it. We are driven by our wants so much that we have created a daily reality for ourselves that is completely upheld by the fulfillment of those wants. The only thing we do right is work at something for a living. I'd say we take care of our families, but that has become a matter of convenience and happiness rather than a matter of the heart and of love and commitment. We have picked apart love to the extent that it is OK to leave our wives / husbands and separate from our kids, or maybe take the kids with us. We have justified the breaking down of the family because we are not happy. There is no responsibility, no integrity, and no love to a decision like that. There is a hardness of heart, an unwillingness to change, and an impudence to God. You look into the eyes of God and say, "You aren't enough." 

We're not the same mettle anymore. We have become soft in the ways of God, and are becoming more and more blind to recognizing the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. When I write, "Every breath we breathe is a gift from Him" it almost sounds commonplace; like something trite written to make children feel better about their stomach ache.

At 31, my ideals are beginning to blur. I believe in my God, and in His ability to do anything He sees fit anywhere, at anytime, with or without any of our help. All of that is subject to the infinite wisdom and discernment available to Him because of who He is. Is it a coincidence though, that as my ideals blur, so does my vision of God? What I mean is that more and more the fingerprints of the Holy Spirit on my heart seem confusing and very unclear; like I just woke up and am in some life that is foreign to me. It looks kind of like me, but I know I'm not the me I could be...and I feel helpless to change those circumstances, pray, seek, plead, receive, or anything! Most dangerously, it's getting easier to concede to "the way things are" for no good reason at all.

Beware the Juggernaut (Part I)

A juggernaut is an extremely powerful force.
That's just one limited definition, but for our purposes will do quite nicely.
The particular juggernaut that I want to address is the perception of self.

Since I'm convinced that God does not waiver or change what He thinks or believes about us in any aspect, the question remains as to what forces are warring against the truths of God in our life. Obviously, "evil" is one of those forces. C.S. Lewis painted a much more complete picture than I could have in his book "The Screwtape Letters." In this book we are invited into an exchange between a lesser demon and his "mentor." Throughout the text they describe various tactics that are in play with the particular human they are trying to trip up in any way possible - but ultimately spiritually. The trick is to get the human to believe something about God that isn't true - therefore reshaping that person's perception on -- well, everything. This truth that we see so much of the world through the color of our own perception is quite the double-edged sword indeed.

The trick ironically enough, hasn't changed since the beginning. Satan still sends his demons around trying to trip up humans all the time. Same goal, unfortunately same outcome. Let me make this clear before we move onto the point: it is the same outcome a great majority of the time. As far as I can tell, Satan wins battles all over the place all the time according to what we see. As Christians, we're told that while that might be the case - Jesus won "the war" for the purposes of our analogy. Anyway, that's a topic for another day.

The focus is 3-fold and each statement is an escalation of the process:
- You are capable of believe lies about yourself.
- You are capable of lying to yourself about who you are. As your view of either yourself or God shifts, so does the advice you will consider as sound.
- You are capable of lying to yourself and others about who you are, and who God is in your eyes. By this, you have infinite capacity to deceive other people in your life to the extent that they will no longer be of help to you - even though you may wish them to be.

This downward spiral is what I mean when I say juggernaut. There are decisions that we all need to make in life. Some of those decisions destroy us, while others give us life. In general, for example, the decision to smoke cigarettes slowly destroys part of your body. Depending on your situation, it can slowly destroy your self-image, and your image in the eyes of others. Though, it could also improve your self-image, and your image in the eyes of others. Either way, it is most definitely going to slowly destroy part of your body. This would be physical evidence of destruction. In contrast, many say that laughter adds 8 seconds to your life each time. So for every time you laugh, you have bought yourself 8 seconds more of life. I don't claim that this is fact, although laughter seems to be contagious - in a good way. People are lifted up and have a better attitude if constructive laughter is going on; constructive meaning not at the expense of someone else's emotions. All that just to exemplify that - there are paths that give us life, and that take life away.

We make those decisions. And, if you are an adult, there is no-one else to blame when it comes down to the direction you choose to take in life. I am not minimizing any circumstances you had to come through to even make it to where you are now. We maintain the power to choose what we believe about ourselves, and act in accordance with that belief. The juggernaut is the trick. It is the trap that is set for all of human-kind and it always will be set for us until this earth is made new. I am not saying that we are doomed to believe those things; simply that the trap is set for us to have to choose not to believe them toward a path that gives us life, maybe even gives life to others.

Another thing you should know is that the trap is alive. The trap exists just as much for you when you are 60, as it did when you were 6. I'm 31 years old as I write this, and I can't even grasp how much I've changed over those 31 years - and I'm the one that changed! The juggernaut is still a danger to me and the stakes continually get higher and higher. I'm now a father of 2 beautiful daughters. How much of what I believe about myself will impact their lives forever? For that matter, how much of what I believe about myself has already impacted my wife, my friends, or my family?

Because the juggernaut exists for me as much now as it ever did, it has the feel of something that is pursuing me. I believe in God. I believe that Jesus finished it on the cross. I've been on missions trips and taught bible study lessons. Kneeling down 10 years ago I told Jesus that I tried everything to live life my way and I wanted to give up and let Him do what He wants with my life. I think I've said those exact words hundreds of times since then, and that's just 10 years worth. I'm saved from an eternity of hell. Why do I feel as if I'm not giving my all for Christ? There's this perpetual doubt that constantly threatens to overtake my heart and hush the cry for my Savior.

The juggernaut is catered to your individual sin-nature too. This is what makes it even more deadly. Even though you are saved from an eternity of hell because of Jesus Christ, you still fight the battle of choosing to live for Him, according to His Word / His Will etc. But, even though you are saved and choose to live for Him you are nevertheless susceptible to sin. You have sinned since being saved. God is not to blame for this fact. Something else is at work there, and I believe the juggernaut has much to do with it. It is like the eternal snare for all people who do not recognize it for what it is; and out of that, exercise the wisdom to avoid it at every season of life.

Which brings me to 1st Corinthians 10:1-13.

The sub-heading in my Bible is: Warnings from Israel's History.

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"For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.

Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry." We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

You are able to set your heart on evil things, and the juggernaut exists to ensure that you do so. Not just evil in the way of outward evil toward others, but even more dangerous evil in the destroying of self, in the destroying of a right relationship with God. With the knowledge that this hazard exists, how do we live through it to the glory of God?

Fortunately, we have another example given us in the New Testament: Paul.

2nd Corinthians 12:1-10

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"I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Paul starts out making some statements that are quite bold. He speaks of someone being caught up into the third heaven as if it was normal to do so. He admittedly doesn't know the details of this experience, which speaks to that we only know in part that which God reveals. It is either that or God reveals in part on purpose. Some of both are probably true.

I want to focus on the 2nd part of this quote however, because I think it lends insight to how renewing our mind can lead to protecting us. Paul states that a messenger of Satan was given to him to be a thorn is his flesh. He also states that this happened to protect him from being conceited about the surpassingly great revelations he was having. You can even see in his writing tendencies this progression. He starts out almost proud of what he knows or what he is being given by God, and falls back to vs. 7-10 in contrast. The Lord's answer to this demon that was given to him for his protection is, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Not only does the Lord tell Paul that his grace is the answer, but He goes one step further and says that because of this weakness His power is made perfect.

You need to be able to rest in the fact that God's power is made perfect in weakness. You are the perfect vessel for God be mighty in because you have great weakness. When we try to hide weakness or strengthen ourselves for the purpose of no longer being weak, we cannot experience the power of God made perfect in us. We experience the power of self being puffed up in us. The juggernaut will always triumph over self. And, you will not realize that you have lost until it is too late.

In contrast to what we (I mean a majority of Western Culture individuals) think of as powerful people, Paul falls back into the grace of Christ. Paul knowingly has a demon tormenting him (that I would bet is somehow related to his pride issues) is in jail for Christ - yet the answer is to trust in grace. It is almost like the Lord says "Experience grace, Paul."

If that was an easy task, much would be different. It presses us to praise the Lord though. It presses us toward Him in our weakness. If we can accept our weakness, and realize that the Lord is made perfect there, we can continue to live freely.

Water from a Rock

Tonight, a dear friend of mine was obedient to God.

Because of his obedience, and because God is always faithful, water was driven out of a rock.

The rock was me.

Recently, for a longer period of time than I would like to admit, I have been very angry with God. Put quite simply, I have been angry with Him because my life is not going the way I think it should --either for me or for His glory. More on this in my last post entitled, "Immovable."

This evening, in the span of about 1 1/2 hours this extreme anger and selfishness was assaulted by the Word of God. Ironically, something that has been within my reach the whole time --but I just couldn't be bothered with it. Ever been there?

----The Triumphant Entry: Jesus enters Jerusalem--Luke 19:29-44---

"29As he (Jesus) approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, 30"Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 31If anyone asks you, 'Why are you untying it?' tell him, 'The Lord needs it.' "

32Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. 33As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, "Why are you untying the colt?"

34They replied, "The Lord needs it."

35They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. 36As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.

37When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

38"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"[b]

"Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

39Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

40"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

41As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you."

In verse 45, Jesus continues on and clears out the temple.

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These verses are screaming new meaning as I type this. I see so much more than I saw before.

- Jesus knows of a colt and can direct His disciples on exactly what needs to be done with it. --With relationship to our hearts, Jesus knows the situation, and the dynamic duo of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God are equipped to take down any type of adversity your heart has to offer.

- People spread their cloaks along the road, and the disciples shout aloud these extremely heretical statements praising Jesus as the one that is to come. Put yourself in this situation. Are you getting a glimpse of the picture?

- Pharisees feebly attempt to stand in the way by voicing dispute and claiming blasphemy on the part of the disciples for praising Jesus and proclaiming Him King. Jesus responds to their folly by saying, "I tell you, if they keep quiet even the stones will cry out." --

This is a moment of magnitude. Creation can barely contain itself. I can see rocks shuttering ready to burst praise to their creator any moment should the praising stop. They tremble simply at the presence of the one true God. The assurance of our loving Father's design and desire for us is being made known through the God-man named Jesus.

- Jesus weeps for the city. The disobedience impacts Him. Even though He has come to save. He has come to reconcile and put the story right...the disobedience hurts Jesus. These people do not know Him. They do not recognize Him for who He is. He is the carpenter from Galilee, Joseph's son, Mary's boy...but no Messiah.

- Jesus enters the city, goes to the temple and cleans house on the things that are not of God. -- He desires the same thing with regards to us; and sometimes he does it through the obedience of another.

Moses, from what I recall, has 2 encounters with 2 different rocks in the desert. The first encounter, Moses simply speaks at God's command, and water gushes forth from the rock. The second time, He is instructed to speak to the rock and instead strikes it twice with his staff. Water still comes out - but that costs Moses entering into the promise land.

(See also Psalm 78)

The point is:

God produces something life-giving out of something that is not alive.

Colossians 2:13-14

"13When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,[a] God made you[b] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross."

Ephesians 2:1-10

" 1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

There is no explanation of what happened tonight other than the power of God. For months I have been breaking apart at the seams and what is left has been hardening toward God. Yet, in the presence of God and with the hearing of the Word of Truth I started to say things that mattered. I found myself speaking about God positively and to encourage others from out of nowhere. The truth broke me open and poured me out.

This part is important. You need to know that I was sure I was broken. What I mean by this is that I convinced myself that I was broken beyond repair and that God did not care to restore me. Convinced that my existence was optional and that God would do nothing special with me. Convinced that I was not a thought in God's mind anymore; all despite the fact that I knew better.

Praise God that He saw fit to send help to me --

For more see:

- Romans 12:1-2

- Matthew 17:14-21

- Romans 5

Immovable

There are 2 sides to every story. At least, to this story. I guess there could be more sides, but in this example there are only 2 sides. One side is the side of God. The other side is the side of whoever goes up against Him.

This one's for the family. When I say that someone is going up against God, I don't mean enemies. I mean children. God's children, to be precise. If you were someone fortunate enough to have parents that tried to care for you when you were a kid - you know what I'm talking about.

Remember when you wanted to do something. It could be anything, like go rock-climbing with a friend at the age of 8 or something. Maybe it was spend the night at a friends house - only your parents hadn't met their parents and weren't willing to take the risk that their (son or daughter) would be hurt or in danger in some way. Especially when it came to "house rules." The old, "My house, my rules!" statement that parents always say with such pride and arrogance. At least, it looks like pride and arrogance at the time to us kids trying to do what we want.

In those moments, I would argue, that there is about 65% of the kids that are just trying to experience life and excited to do something new and different. To some extent, we live with this urge our entire lives, and it's not always the sinful nature acting as the driving force for that. We want to experience. We want to live. Wired to be free...

Yet, until we reach a "certain age" some of us find ourselves up against parents. I remember many times when my Dad would come to retrieve me from a video arcade. I'd already spent hours playing video games and I would see him coming in my peripheral vision without even looking away from the game I was playing. By the time I recognize my Dad, I'm already determined to make this game last as long as possible - and plotting my way into asking if I can play another game should I meet an untimely demise in the current game. I've already in my mind decided what I want to do. Enter the immovable object (Dad) - at least when you are 12 Dad is mostly immovable.

I would dash straight for my Dad when I was a kid not getting what I wanted. I'd physically try to hit him. I remember it. I thought if I swung hard enough, that he'd just give up and leave me to do what I wanted to do in the first place. That's what most kids do as they are learning discipline - especially if they are not learning it...but when they learn it too. They try everything and anything to get or do what they want to do.

My Dad would either hold me so tight that it hurt my arms (which did stop the tantrum), or just pick me up and take me out of there. As I got stronger and bigger, he started not to have a choice but to let me go and use other means of "discipline." You know, like revoking gaming privileges once I got home from the arcade. Yeah, I was hooked to say the least.

The point is that parents tend to not "compromise" on certain things. Some things, sure...others though - not so much. God is no different. In His sovereignty, He does not compromise. If God is the God of Israel, there are no grounds on which He needs to compromise at all. If you find yourself in a compromise with God, it is only that you see it as a compromise...and you are wrongly labeling his mercy.

I've spent the last few months throwing punches at God, and honestly, I'm not sure when or if I'm going to stop. One thing I do know is that God is not moving. He continues to be God, he continues to be faithful, He continues to be working His plans out on this earth and in heaven, He continues to be my father, and I continue to be an adopted Son. The fact that this is true makes me more and more angry the more I punch. Just like a kid when they realize that the tantrum isn't working.

I wonder how long it is going to take until I realize that trying to take extra punches at God isn't going to do anything? Ironically, it has even gone so far that I somehow have justified that if I punish myself, then He will have to do something because it will prove that His way isn't what is best? Manipulation tactics hard at work on God. I recognize that I'm doing these things, and I know fully that God knows that I'm doing these things.

So why don't I stop?

The truth is that I love myself more than I love God. WAY more. So much more that I'm willing to try purposefully to hurt Him rather than give up all the good stuff I thought was in me...wait for it...which includes most of the good stuff that I thought He put in me. That doesn't make sense - - does it? Abraham and Isaac ring a bell? Not going to get into that again, that point has been proven.

The point now is my purposefulness about loving myself before and more than God. Putting effort into the tantrum about the FACT that God is bleeding certain things out of me that change the very fabric of who I am - - and honestly I believe it is for the worst. When I survey me - the changes make me nothing special...and I can't even tell you how much I hate that. Yeah, this one is personal, so that is going to show in how I say it.

I don't know if what I'm talking about here applies to everyone across the board. I know that it applies to me though, because I prayed for a long time that God would not let me escape His Will for my life. What a stupid prayer. Honestly, if I could take that kind of thing back, I would right now. It hurts so much and I feel so lost that I want it back. And that brings me to the fact that God is immovable. I can't get to the prayer to take it back because now God has it and is doing it and there's nothing I can do about it because it was a prayer that was/is according to His will and purpose. And just like a kid, that seems very arrogant to me - rigid and uncompromising. Unfair and without justice. What a ridiculous wretch I am.

This is the part where I say all the Jesus stuff that get to the point. The stuff like that He died and rose for us and was beaten for us and who am I to rule justice or proclaim something is fair. Yeah, yeah - I heard all that before. Next I'm supposed to say that there's something comfortable about the fact that God doesn't move because look, now He's doing something in my life that, if I had it my way, wouldn't be done. And, since God works out everything for His glory, for the good, and has plans to prosper us and a future for us - I should be jumping for joy and praising God.

Needless to say, that's not really my strong suit.

I guess all I have to say is take refuge and find freedom in the fact that God is immovable. (that's if you believe in Jesus)

If you don't believe in Jesus, fear God and recognize that HE IS IMMOVABLE. He will not be compromising with you after this life for your ticket into Heaven. Jesus or bust kid.

Passion Riddled with Grace

John 21 opens with the familiar scene of fishers on a boat. According to the passage, at least 7 disciples were present. Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, the sons of Zebedee (James and John), and two other unnamed disciples.

See, this is the 3rd time that Jesus has appeared to his disciples after his crucifixion (John 21:14). He shows up on the scene and basically does a replay of Luke 5 1-11. Simon (Peter), who was there for the first experience, recognizes Jesus after their nets become full of fish. Actually, it's not Peter who recognizes Jesus first, it's John - also known as "the disciple who Jesus loved." After John points out that the stranger on the shore is Jesus, Peter gets his outer garments and jumps into the water. What I picture, is that Peter jumps into the water in order to swim to Jesus and get there as fast as he can...and first. Why didn't Peter just stay in the boat and wait until they pulled everything ashore? Why couldn't Peter just stay in the boat?

What do we know about Peter?
- He is one of the first to be recruited by Jesus, along with James and John.
- He was a fisherman before following Christ with his brother Andrew.
- Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law.
- It's Peter who gets out of the boat on the way to Gennesaret in the middle of the storm.
- Jesus calls Peter the "rock" on which He will build his church, and that Hades will not overcome it.
- Peter tells Jesus that He will not be killed as Jesus said He would - at this, Jesus addresses Peter and says, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block for me, you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."
- Peter is there for the transfiguration.
- At the command of Jesus, Peter goes fishing and catches a fish with a four-drachma coin in its mouth to pay for the teaching tax of both Jesus and Peter.
- Peter is with Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, at His most vulnerable. (Obviously, I mean vulnerable in His human likeness.
- It is Peter who denies or "disowns" Jesus 3 times.

After surveying the 4 gospel books of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) - we know a great deal about Peter. He's like a case study, if you will. In the examples that are written down, Peter is either involved in, or present for a great number of them.

Peter's relationship with Jesus is personal. I'm not sure that really says what I want to say about it though. In the boat on the way to Gennesaret, it is Peter who responds to Jesus' claim that it is Him. He even goes beyond that to ask for proof! It's Peter, who protests aloud when Jesus is telling his disciples how he will die and what will happen. It is Peter who answers when Jesus asks, "Who do you say that I am?" Not only this, but at times, Jesus directly addresses Peter out of all the other disciples. Even though John is the disciple who Jesus loved the most, we read more about when Jesus addresses Peter than John. The Satan comment that comes from Jesus to Peter, the statement about his name being Peter and building a church, the confirmation that it will be Peter that denies him 3 times when the disciples scatter as it is written.

I believe this was done to teach the other disciples. Even more perhaps, to guide us into recognizing that it is forgivable to be imperfect and passionate toward Christ. Sure, it might not be the ideal, but it's much better than say...a luke-warm faith. People have difficulty accepting Peter's example here. Time and time again he takes the same kind of actions; ones birthed in deep emotion. He is generally quick to make a decision and act on it. These decisions are entirely of the heart and emotion, and have very little to do with logic, reason, or planning. Play over Peter's actions in your mind and see for yourself. Consider Jesus' response (when there is one) to these actions.

Let's take the trip to Gennesaret as an example. Jesus shows up in the middle of a storm on the water. Peter asks for proof that it is Him. That is about the most reasonable statement Peter might have made in the gospels in situations that are testing his faith. It is sensible to ask for proof. Nobody has walked on water before, right? Don't get me wrong, I think it is amazing that Peter even wanted to believe that it could be Jesus! Please don't take this like I'm putting Peter down in this moment. Jesus tells Peter to come to him on the water. This is where it gets ridiculous. Peter knows there is no way he can walk on that water unless it is Jesus. Let me say again, believing that statement is no small feat. Living that statement is even more elusive. Even so, Peter goes through with it. There is no guarantee that he will be all right other than the Word of Jesus. To the surprise of those in the boat, Peter starts walking on water. Now comes the storm. Immediately, Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus and starts to sink. Peter cries out, "Save me Lord!" Jesus does and says something about how little faith Peter had in that moment. Why did Peter doubt?

Peter taking his eyes off of Jesus and what follows is a great parallel for the heart of Jesus' instructions to his disciples. After rebuking Satan (toward Peter), Jesus turns to the disciples and says, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Peter lost focus and sank. Peter lost focus because of his emotions and told Jesus that He wasn't going to die like He said. Peter lost focus multiple times during their relationship. His heart however, was bent on selling out to Jesus; to doing whatever it took to get and stay close to Him no matter what.

Peter answers rightly when Jesus asks the question, "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus calls Peter blessed, and says that His Father in Heaven taught Peter this truth. (Matthew 16:17)
The man that directly contradicted Jesus - blessed.
The man that lost focus again and again - blessed.
The man who denied that he knew Jesus again and again and again - BLESSED.

Finally, the relationship (on earth) between Jesus and Peter culminates in John 21, at the 3rd appearance of Jesus.

John 21:15-19
15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. 18 I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

It is glaringly obvious that Jesus, on purpose, asks Peter 3 times if he loves Him. Peter insists each time that he does. Peter even answers yes to whether he loves Jesus "more" than these (referencing the other disciples). "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you" is Peter's response. The 3 questions seem to each be uncovering a different layer of Peter's experience. I'm sure that the 3rd time Jesus asked him, rang familiar to Peter with regards to him denying Christ 3 times. Perhaps the 2nd time, Peter might have flinched wondering where Jesus was going with the line of questioning. I can only guess, as much as I have learned from Peter with the limited knowledge I have of Jesus. The point though for the scope of this content is that Jesus asks, and Peter answers YES all 3 times.

The 3rd time Jesus responds to the yes with a description of how Peter is going to die for Him. Then, Jesus says "Follow me!" I think that Peter, through all that he's been through with Jesus, has learned a great deal. Notice though, that even now Peter is still having trouble focusing on Jesus because he is still so concerned about what is going to happen to John. It is like being in the boat to Gennesaret again except this time the storm that is making him lose focus is internal, and not external. It might be envy, I cannot be sure. However it is certain that for a brief moment, Peter is more concerned with knowing what is going to happen with John than with following Jesus. That is the point.

Peter's passion is to be held up as an example. His heart was for Christ. His passion can only be rivaled by Paul's once that miraculous conversion takes place. Even still, that is good company to be keeping when it comes to passion. Recognize though that Peter's passion alone wasn't a complete package. He needs Christ, and is about to embark on one of the most important tasks of God's story - starting the church. Christ has no problem accepting, loving, and saving Peter full of unhinged passion alone; but what Christ was asking of Peter had as much to do with his focus as it did with his passion. Peter had to learn to focus and it wasn't easy for him to do it.

Part of your response to God in your life will have something to do with things that are not your gifts. It will probably be the most difficult process of your life. It might feel all wrong and make no sense whatsoever. Jesus asked Peter to follow him - to focus on him. That meant that Peter might have to fight back an emotional urge sometimes in order to keep moving rightly in the direction God was taking him. Did you get that? It's not a matter of going the right direction, God will take care of the direction of your life. It's a matter of acting rightly in the direction that is laid before you. (See Micah 6:8)

In order for Peter to act rightly, he had to begin living differently.
Seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit. Press into intimacy with a Lord who loves you more than you can imagine.
Live differently. Grace will be there...and will always be enough.

The Gospel?

The Gospel is a person. That person is Jesus. Jesus is fully God, and fully man.

The Gospel is viewed through a paradigm. That paradigm is many times, our culture.

The Gospel is exemplified and perfected through relationship.

The Gospel does not apply without faith.

The Gospel links the special role for Israel to that of the Church through Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible."

The Bible is an account of God's love story. It is His "eternal drama" as John Eldredge puts it in his book, "The Sacred Romance." It describes to us who God is, and tells of people who were trying to figure out what it meant to live for Him in their times, and in their culture. The Bible is evidence that God had...and has something to say to all people. His message of love is clear.

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If we do not have faith, we cannot hope to see "the Gospel" separate from the paradigm of our culture. I believe this is necessary if we hope to ascertain and lay hold of that which Christ laid hold of us for. If we cannot view the Gospel outside of the constraints of our culture, I do not believe we can appropriately act from inside our culture, towards that which God has for us. I write that statement with great care, because its implications reach into the daily choices we make as individuals living in our respective cultures. And, we cannot help but to make some of those choices exactly the way we do. In some ways, the power of the Gospel is revealed more and more because of the flavor of our culture. In other ways, the power of the Gospel is masked and unrecognizable because of that same flavor.

I will spend my life seeking, yet not fully understanding these things.

That is not a wasted life.

There is nothing more important than the gospel. Nothing.

Right of Passage

Genesis 27 describes some family dysfunction that I'm not going to pretend I understand. I don't. The basic scenario is that Esau (an older brother) has his blessing robbed by his younger brother Jacob. Jacob doesn't really want to do it but Rebekah, his mother, has other ideas and talks him into tricking his father Isaac into blessing him. Esau pleads to Isaac to be considered for a blessing but Isaac simply responds, "I have made your brother lord over you, what more can I do?" At this point, Esau is filled with rage and wants to kill his brother Jacob for stealing his birthright. Honestly, I'd feel the same way.

That's what happens. Now Jacob, again because his mother wants it this way, gets sent to his grandfather's house to find a wife in Paddan Aram. He's supposed to talk to his uncle about a wife. Picture your dad saying, "Son, go see your uncle in Philly about a wife." I live in Pennsylvania...what can I say?

To not get caught up in extreme details or dream interpretation, Jacob has a dream in which God speaks to him. Basically, God says that He's going to bless Jacob and Jacob responds with "Awesome! If you make sure I return safely from my trip, you will be my God and I'll give you a tenth of what you give me!" It kind of sounds like, "Let's make a deal!"

Fast forward, Jacob makes it to Paddan Aram. He meets some guys that are from Haran, asks about Laban, and sees Rachel. He goes over to help out with watering the sheep. Basically, the bible says that he just kisses Rachel and starts to weep aloud. I guess this was the way to a girl's heart back then... (Seriously, it's probably something cultural here that I'm missing. Probably what you do when you want to marry someone - but that's just a guess.) Laban hears about Jacob being here, comes running and greets him (with a kiss again). Jacob tells Laban why he is there, and Laban confirms that's a good deal.

From the Bible's text, it seems like Jacob stayed for 1 month and worked for Laban without pay. Laban questions this and asks Jacob to name his wages. Jacob says that he'll work for 7 years if Laban gives him Rachel in marriage (whoa buddy - 7 years!?). So, 7 years go by and Jacob gets right to the point and says..."Laban, my time is complete...give me my wife so that I can lie with her." Straight to the point lad!

Now Laban does something that I just can't get over as many times as I go over it in my head. They have a feast celebrating this and he switches his daughter's on Jacob. Jacob has sex with Leah, instead of Rachel...I would guess without knowing it because he wakes up and asks Laban what the deal is. I can't blame him...that's just unbelievable. Laban tells Jacob that he's going to have to work another 7 years to get Rachel. Jacob agrees, which I think is pretty amazing. So Jacob now has 2 wives, and he loves one more than the other. (The bible says so.)

A few notes before we fast forward. Following the time when Jacob marries Rachel, a lot of posturing happens between Jacob and Laban - also between Rachel and Leah. Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah - (sound familiar?) - Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Isaacar, Zebulun, and Dinah. After 11 kids, Joseph finally is born. Remember, that's 10 sons + a daughter...then Joseph...then later Benjamin (way later). At this point, only Joseph is actually from Rachel, because she's been barren all this time. Leah's battle for Jacob's affection and Rachel's responds makes all this possible. Whew.

Oh yeah, and I should mention that Jacob basically decides to take almost nothing from Laban even though Laban has been blessed by Jacob's presence when he wants to go. Somehow, God turns this decision into Jacob becoming the owner of Laban's entire flock. (The bible tells you how that happens).

All this happens, and God says to Jacob, go back to your home land. (Paraphrased)

He does (with all of his house, which is lots of people now). He sends lots of his possessions across the Jordan to appease Esau before he goes back in the hopes that Esau won't kill him. He prays that God would deliver him from Esau, and recognizes that God has made a great house out of him. Only Jacob, his wives, and the 11 sons stay with him.

That's a lot of history for what I'm trying to get at. If I don't tell you that though, the heart of the matter has no foundation.

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Genesis 32: 22-29

"That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

²⁷ The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^{e]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[e]} because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

²⁹ Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, ^{f]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[f]} saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

³¹ The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, ^{g]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[g]} and he was limping because of his hip. ³² Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon."

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Jacob has lots of possessions. Why is a man wrestling with Jacob? The subtitle in the bible says "Jacob wrestles with God" so we know the man is supposed to resemble God. Yet, the bible says that a man wrestles with Jacob until daybreak. What is going on here?

Jacob is faced here, with confronting his fear. Esau is one representation of who Jacob is. The very identity of Jacob is defined by being a trickster. He stole the birthright, he stole Laban's flock (even if it was with God's blessing), he's basically swindled everyone out of everything he's gained. He has wives that trick each other and compete just like he did with his brother (which his mother helped with). Everything in his life points to strife and deceit.

Jacob (the trickster) collides with God. Jacob has been hearing from God over the years, but has been living out of an unhealthy fear. Jacob doesn't fear God at this point, he fears himself. He is afraid of what / who he is, and what that might mean for his future. There's no way he's crossing the Jordan without God - almost as importantly...without God's blessing.

There is a turn in Jacob's grappling from wrestling, to clinging. It happens when the "God-man" puts Jacob's hip out of joint with a simple touch. Kind of a foreshadowing to Peter sinking and crying out, "Lord, save me!"

Simply put, God desires for our lives are to be shaped around a clinging to Him, not a wrestling with Him - although he's got no problem wrestling you until you cling. I believe there are seasons when we wrestle with different issues or truths and the like, but generally speaking - we are to cling to God in desperate dependence and recognition of His sovereignty. The moment you transition from wrestling to clinging, defines your life. I believe this experience drives deep within us and shakes us apart for the glory of God. Most importantly though - it creates us anew. Jacob's very identity is changed by this experience.

God broke Jacob's hip to make him cling. What does God have to break in your life to make this happen? You are not better than Jacob, something needs to break in order to cling to God. Have you been broken, or are you yet to be broken? When you are, will you cling? Will you refuse to let go of God? Will you refuse to forsake His name as He is breaking your life apart in ways that He has every right to because He is sovereign? Will you grip him and demand that He bless you? Can you understand that God is breaking you so that He may be glorified and you may be lifted up in the end like Jacob was?

Personally, I run to video games and movies when God tries to break me. I'm no Jacob, but God keeps letting me wrestle with Him in hopes that one day, I won't let go...until He blesses me. This is the equivalent of not crossing the Jordan. I simply cling to the escape routes I've designed to avoid going head to head with God.

Do you believe Him for that?

Do You Trust Me?

Genesis 22:1-3

¹ Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

² Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

³ Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.

OK, read that again. There's no rush...really.

Now that you have read it a 2nd time, ask yourself honestly - would I do that if God asked me?

No wonder that Abraham is the father of many nations. Take a look at this verse people. And it's just the beginning. God basically says, "Take the person you love, the person that I gave you - and sacrifice him."

Really put yourself in his shoes. Role play here and make it as if God is talking with you.

"Take the person you love, the person that I gave you and sacrifice him/her."

For some of you, that is a friend, for those who are married - a spouse. For those married with children, perhaps one of those children (or all of them, pick one). Could you do it?

Here's a question, does it even make sense that God would ask something like that of you? I maintain that we have culturalized God so much that we have a completely warped perspective of what he may or may not have us do in order to glorify Himself! Our view of God shrinks daily and our faith is definitely NOT that of a mustard seed (and I don't mean we don't have enough faith, it more screams that we aren't at peace with the right kind of faith). We cannot comprehend, let alone get to the question, "Could we do it?" The truth is that we would dismiss the thought before it even had a chance to sink in - if it even could sink in at all!

Next, Abraham gets all the supplies ready in order to sacrifice his son, readies 2 people to help him out, and then gets on his donkey! He's going through with this!

Genesis 22:6,7

⁶ Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, ⁷ Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Are you serious? I don't even know if I can imagine this right...

I want you to notice the faith Isaac has in his father, and the innocence of his heart in this moment.

Genesis 22:8

⁸ Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

Without skipping a beat, Abraham answers Isaac's question brilliantly. He doesn't lie, yet he spares his son panic and confusion that most definitely would have followed. At least, I think it would have. Reading the words, I can't even believe that Abraham thought of that on his own. I have suspicion that God is lending Abraham His wisdom in this moment to give Isaac peace so that Abraham's faith can be put on display for God.

Genesis 22:9-12

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. ¹⁰ Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. ¹¹ But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

¹² "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

I don't think there is a man or woman on earth that would have made it this far. Abraham has the knife poised and ready to strike His son before "the angel of the Lord" calls out to him from heaven. Only now does the truth come. "Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Only when you give up "the stuff you love" can you fear God. If you are not willing to give these things up for God if/when He asks, you do not fear Him - and in turn you cannot trust Him.

God asked Abraham to do this as a test. God wanted to see how far Abraham was willing to go...whether or not Abraham trusted God. Abraham passed because he would have done it. If we was not going to do it God would not have needed to stop him. God knew Abraham was really going to kill his own son because of His faith. If God does not step in, Abraham kills Isaac. This is why Abraham passes the test. Did you hear it that time? It is not because he showed up on the mountain, not because he built the altar, not because he brought his son, not because he raised the knife; but because he was ready (somehow...) to kill his son because God said so.

If you do not fear God, not only can you not trust Him - you cannot love Him. He can love you though that mess, but you cannot love Him through all of it. Without fear of God, you will not cast yourself upon God without looking back. You will stretch yourself so thin trying to build the bridge between what you can't let go of and God. Doing this breaks people apart, and we see it all the time in this world - and we continue to see it more and more. Most people that do this end up blaming God for stuff. God doesn't settle for 2nd in your life. He just doesn't.

In my last post, "The Heart of Losing your Life" I mentioned that the state of your heart is what God is really after. I share this example of Abraham with you because I'm trying to drive home this point in a very different way. God had to know that there was NO part of his life that was more dear to Abraham than God. At the core, God is jealous FOR us and will not take a back seat to anyone, or anything. Should you, as a parent, take a back seat to your baby's rattle? What about the baby's pacifier? How ridiculous does that even sound? Of course you shouldn't take a back seat to those things because of 2 important reasons! First, because you as a parent are the source of how the baby gets the rattle or pacifier. Second, because you are the source of everything they need. At least, in their world you are. If this is true, why do you expect God to be different with us, than you are with your children?

This is what Abraham believed. I would say that he understood, but he didn't get how it all worked. Abraham knew that if God told him to do something, that he should do it because God is God and had a better plan than Abraham could come up with. Abraham trusted God implicitly. This is the same thing that Jesus is asking of the rich young ruler. Jesus asks him to "go sell all of this possessions." The only difference is that Abraham did what God asked, the rich young ruler couldn't. Look at the story of Abraham in light of Jesus Christ. Jesus was the fulfillment of the law, and turned toward your heart all of this difficult nonsense that used to be burnt offerings and the like. God still looks to your heart for burnt offerings. He is looking for you to put on the altar the stuff that is piled on top of your heart preventing you from trusting Him.

I have been alive for 30 years (To some of you that will seem like forever, to others not so much). Not one time have I witnessed someone trust God implicitly. Not one time. It has always been conditional or half-hearted. It has never been like what I read in Genesis. God has not changed since then. He is still God. We are the descendants of Abraham, we should expect the same God as he did.

Let go. Trust Him.

The Heart of Losing Your Life

Matthew 16:24-26

²⁴Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. ²⁶What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

People seem to like quoting this scripture. Pastors, mentors, teachers, those who would teach us something about God, about life, about others, or about ourselves.

Thing is, most don't tell you that it is going to be hard. They don't tell you that you're going to get angry with God about losing your life...or that it's not all sunshine and roses.

I met a good pastor today. From the start of our conversation, there were no punches pulled, no pretending things were going to get better / easier. I knew the truth, and I was told it in love, which affirmed me a great deal. All that man had to do was show up, and be who God made Him to be.

On the other hand, there's this guy:

Matthew 19:15-23

¹⁶ Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”
¹⁷ So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
¹⁸ He said to Him, “Which ones?”
Jesus said, “ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ¹⁹ ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
²⁰ The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”
²¹ Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
²² But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

See, this scripture points to the heart of losing your life. What is so special about these possessions? "He had great possessions?" What made them so great? Why does this man turn away from the conversation sorrowful, instead of with urgency and exhilaration. Jesus just told him exactly what he wanted to know...right? The rich young ruler gets what he came for...but not what he wanted.

The rich young ruler defines himself by his possessions. It's part of "who He is" to himself. If you would ask him who he is, I imagine at this point he would say something about him being successful and making the right choices and that God has blessed him and that's the reason for everything. My point in this entry is this...Jesus asks him to sell his possessions not because He wants or needs this man to give to the poor; but because the rich young ruler needs to sell his possessions and give to the poor to be able to have treasure in heaven. Oh yeah...and go follow Jesus too.

The position of the possessions in the man's heart is the issue. The position of the great possessions is higher on the list than inheriting eternal life. And...don't think that just because you don't have a lot, this can't be your problem. You don't have to have lots of stuff to covet having lots of stuff - and this is a new one to me...but it's the same thing as far as your heart is concerned. Jesus wants your heart completely. The whole thing. He's not going to compete against possessions, pride, or any of that other stuff that creates a false image of you to make you feel better about how He fits into your life. Your heart needs to be full of Christ; and let the rest of what comes overflow from that.

Case & point:

Matthew 6:25-34

"²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The rich young ruler couldn't get a grip on the fact that he wasn't in control of his own life. His attitude then reflected that his heart didn't know how to change. He leaves sorrowful because he doesn't know how to do what Jesus has just asked of him. He wants eternal life, but can't do what is asked of him. Let me say again that is isn't that he could "go sell all his possessions and give to the poor" it is that he can't change his heart. Right now, his heart is full of things he's done to earn his way to eternal life. He's fulfilled all the commandments, yet he still comes asking what he needs to do? What more does he need to do?

Another point is this: He is told to do something He cannot do. He can't make his heart change. God is the one in the business of changing hearts. Now I've heard mixed reviews on this, and my own personal verdict is still out. Some tell me that you can change your own heart, others tell me that it's God's job. I guess thinking about it, it is a co-operation of sorts. It's not that you really "do" anything, but it is that you let the Holy Spirit shape your heart however God sees fit. Therefore, you are shaped, your life is shaped, your words are shaped - by God for His purposes to His glory. That puts God on center stage, and not you...which is how it should be.

The rich young ruler couldn't give up the stage IN HIS HEART to Jesus. Can you?

Blessed are those Who Believe, Yet have not Seen

Yesterday as I was holding one of my newborn daughters in my arms, she started to cry out for something. Here's the thing, she's 1 month old; what could she possibly want? She could be hungry, she could need her diaper changed, or she could just be crying out because she cannot really see much unless it is right in front of her face.

I learned this in my journey toward fatherhood. Babies, for the first "while" after they are born cannot focus or see much of anything unless you're really close to their face. You have this little person (or little people in my case) that can't see and her only way to communicate with us big people is to make a noise. Not to mention, it's the only noise she can make right now. There's variations to the noise, but it's all basically a type of crying out.

The point is that the world, to newborns, is extremely fuzzy. They can see variations and stuff...but they do not see the physical world like we see it. Their eyes need to be trained.

John 20:24-29

"Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, 'We have seen the Lord.' So he said to them, 'Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.' And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, 'Peace to you!' Then He said to Thomas, 'Reach your finger here, and look at my hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.' And Thomas answered and said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him, 'Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'"

Thomas needed to see and touch in order to believe. Thomas wanted to use the physical senses he had to convince himself of the impossible. Something had happened that was impossible. I think sometimes we are hard on Thomas here. People came and told Thomas that Jesus had risen from the dead; not an easy sell. Of course, if a group of people corroborate the story - - it's harder to not go along with it. Even still, I think Thomas shows us that no matter how overwhelming the stories are toward proving the impossible true, we will still seek some kind of proof before we believe it. Honestly, I kind of applaud Thomas in part for his ability to stand his ground and not believe. It had to take some kind of courage to tell all the other disciples that he wasn't going along with this nonsense that Jesus was alive. Right or wrong - he defended what he thought to be the truth. Don't be a hypocrite and judge Thomas so quickly, we do this all the time.

For a second time, Jesus hits the scene and greets the disciples. He goes right to Thomas and they go through proving that Jesus is who He says He is. Thomas now believes because it has been proven to him to be true according to the standards that He created in His own heart. Jesus gave Him what He needed to believe. Like the awesome savior He is Jesus follows this up with a brief teaching statement, "Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed."

Which brings me to an interesting point. 2 things that sometimes seem to stand in direct contradiction to one another. Defending the truth and believing. I don't know that I've ever seen a human being defend a truth they claimed not to understand. I've seen them defend things they think they understand mostly, or are trying desperately to understand - but not something that is hopeless for them to understand. That's the trick of it. We cannot hope to understand how it is that Jesus stood in the midst of the disciples; how it is that He rose to be seated at the right hand of the Father; how it is that He sent the Holy Spirit to us; any more than we can understand the ways of God. We believe these things by faith, because (I would argue) we cannot be shown these things. The separateness of God is so great that if He would describe to us how it worked I think we would lose Him at, "Well, you see it's like this..."

Let's stop back at the teaching statement again to finish up.

"Thomas, you have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed."

I see a hidden challenge in this verse to Thomas from Jesus. Very clearly, it is a message to Thomas that it is better to not need to see in order to believe. In other words, your faith should not be tied to something as physical as your own sight. That being said, it begs the question...what should your faith be tied to? How to we keep on believing?

I'd like to suggest that how we choose to see our world and the circumstances that occur within our field of view greatly shapes the state of our faith. For example, do you have faith that God is with you in a difficult circumstance in your life; or is it that when God responds to your difficult situation you will praise Him because He clearly (in hindsight) is worthy? It is a subtle difference in principle, but a great chasm in practice. Your attitude through a difficult time will reflect whether your faith is tossed to and fro like a weed blowing in the wind, or whether it is founded on the cornerstone that is Christ, not shaken by all that you see - because you are assured of what is unseen.

Believe.

The Theft of Gratitude

It begins with something that doesn't quite go how you think it should have for God. Then something else happens like that...and yet another. Or perhaps you do something, say something, or even feel something you know that you shouldn't; but you can't stop whatever it is. Before you know it, you're not looking at God quite the same as you were a few weeks ago before all this stuff happened. There's anger, bitterness, a sense of entitlement...and most likely a cynical slant to any words you say about God. Most of all, you're left in a place where you can't help but to focus on all the questions, instead of the character and faithfulness of your God.

That folks, is how gratitude is stolen from us.

Colossians 3:15-17

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Philippians 4:5-7

⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Gratitude and Thanksgiving were designed to be received by God...and come from us. We're built to be grateful, to give thanks. Why? Well, it's because Jesus did all the work on the cross and the Holy Spirit now comes alongside of our hearts and lives to instruct and shape us. Quite simply...we were built to be grateful and give thanks to God because it is all that is left for us to do.

So often we enter situations with the very best of intentions, forgetting the most critical piece of the equation. Anything that is done for God, is done by God. Whether it is the unjustified sacrifice of Christ speaking into someone's life or whether it is the Holy Spirit breaking down walls of anger, hatred, or bitterness; God is doing the work, not you.

Who are you to think that you've done something for God that he did not, or could not do for Himself? You think you gave up a week's worth of work to go on a missions trip without the help of God? There are countless examples of daily things, from huge life changing things to very small and trivial things that we fail to recognize God in them...and it amputates the power of the cross. It amputates the ministry of the Holy Spirit. If we would just see these things for what they are and call them like we see them I think our hearts would better remember gratitude and thanksgiving.

However, as the example above, when you find yourself in seasons where it's just not going your way, we have trouble with gratitude and thanksgiving. It's no secret to God that you are troubled, that your heart has hardened regarding Him. God is not surprised, and He hasn't been since the beginning:

Genesis 3:1-10

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
² And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; ³ but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
⁴ Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. ⁵ For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
⁶ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
⁸ And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
⁹ Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
¹⁰ So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

Unfortunately though, God has nevertheless had to respond and adjust for our the attitude of our hearts. I say "adjust" loosely, because the idea that God is all knowing and sees time differently than us goes toward the argument that He didn't really need to adjust anything. Again, He is not surprised at our unfaithfulness.

This also goes to point out that gratitude is in fact stolen from us. Adam and Eve are existing in perfect relationship with God in Eden. The deception of the serpent steals away this relationship aspect and creates a chasm between God and people. God has not changed here, people have. The hearts and minds of Adam and Eve have been altered by the deception. No longer are actions coming from the same place in their hearts...moreover they see God differently (and probably the serpent differently too). Because they see God differently, their reaction to God is different, and might I note...quite inaccurate all of a sudden.

Ah yes, to the point. It's quite so with us as well is it not? Our paradigm of God changes, even if only for a few hours, and our hearts change. That's the thing about the spiritual realm, it has the power to change your heart. God can change your heart, but Satan can make you do things that leave that same heart scarred, and damaged which also has consequences.

When temptation or a bad season of life comes along, it's a question. Will you let God shape your response to Him, or will you let something else?

The Spiritual Locker Room

Have you ever been telling a story to a group of people, and they can't help but to follow-up your story with the words, "If you think that's (insert adjective here), wait until you hear this!" Then, they proceed to tell the wildest, most action-packed drama filled story you've ever heard in your life and try to pass it off as true? Ever had that happen?

The other posts on this blog are all about God...so don't worry, we'll get there. I think the action I described in the previous paragraph is truly a pet peeve of mine. It's not always the other person's fault, sometimes people can't help but be rude, and act in complete disregard of your hope to relationally connect with others...right? I'm sure other people have written about this before, but I call this the 1-up syndrome.

The 1-up syndrome is defined (by me) as: The inability to funnel the presentation of your life experience in tandem with the relational, emotional, and sometimes mental well being of those you care about. I know, it's just not fair of me to expect so much of other people - - especially in a society where we've got to pry real relationship out of each other with a proverbial crowbar.

Actually, when I think about it, we're really kind of sensitive. I the vast majority of us who are sane and seeking relationships have a soft spot. You know, the spot where if someone else doesn't handle it with care it will break apart and you'll never forget the insincerity of that person for years? In general, I think we all have things that we can't help but to take personally; and to be honest this is probably one of mine. But, because I can't help but think about how God works in absolutely everything...I'm led to share something related to the 1-up syndrome I'll refer to as "False Humility."

See, it was all fun and games (kind of), until I was telling a story one time about how God had been awesome in my life. I think I was talking about my trip to Honduras or something. I don't remember the exact story. Someone in the group said almost the words I described above, "If you think that's awesome, wait until you hear my story about God!"

Let me hit pause and apologize for the cynicism that's about to come forth. It might get thick, but I can't help it. I realize that this person was probably just trying to share something great that God had done in their life. It's just that it was framed up against something I had said and made out to be the empire state building to my hot dog stand. Has empathy been completely obliterated in today's culture?

Back to the story. I felt like the person needed a lesson in pride reduction or something! What right did they have to prop up their experience of God next to mine and minimize something they hadn't been through!? That's when my wheels started spinning about it. (Not to mention, I didn't even hear the other person's story...which is a whole other matter). 2 things were bothering me. First, were the people even going to remember my story now? Second, did this person even hear me? Did you hear the common denominator in those 2 statements? That's right...ME.

So often we tell stories (clearly...I tell stories) about God, but God is not the center of those stories. In my own mind, I'm the center of the stories, and they are all about what God has done for...ME. Ahem. While I maintain my initial point that relationship demands a bit more empathy, I also recognize that most people need some work and many of them don't even realize it. Isn't that the trouble. You're the center of your own story.

Here it comes. The tie in to why the title is "The Spiritual Locker Room." We just have to rate everything! So much of our current culture is people silently (or not silently) rating or measuring what something means to them. A story, an experience, a person, a job, their children, their spouse, church, God, etc. Pick anything, and I bet you know where it falls in a long line of importance you've racked up in your head. What are the rules for how you measure? What purpose does measuring at all serve us?

Before I was in High School, I used to hear "horror" stories about how when I got to the locker room, all the boys were going to get together and measure. I'll leave it at that. I heard rumors that girls locker rooms were the same. Like it was some kind of status symbol. Depending on who you are...it might still be; but that is neither here nor there. The point is that if you're trying to live your life God's way, looking at measuring anything against anyone Else's anything isn't really the way to go. Why? One word: ENVY.

This post now kind of ties into the one on Warring in the Spirit because Envy is a slippery enemy. It comes for everyone, Christian and not alike. Oh boy does it come after you. Look at today's culture. Here's a snapshot (Reality TV, Sex, Entertainment, Gadgets, Family). Ever envied one of those things. Ever envied someone on Survivor, or a beautiful actor / model (male or female), a friend who had a 5 zillion inch flat-screen TV, a cool new phone or mp3 player, or someone who had a family - when you so desperately want one of your own? We set ourselves up to envy others and it has chipped its way into our relationships so that we don't even know it's there most of the time. Obviously, my spin on this is God-related.

To reel in what we've talked about, we started with the 1-up syndrome, moved to false humility, and have brought the discussion to how envy plays a huge role in our lives in today's culture. Humility is so hard. Can you imagine that Jesus lived his life and never envied 1 thing? Not $$$, not a marriage relationship, not that he didn't have food in the desert; not a thing. I can't even imagine it; I can't go 24 hours without envying something someone else has...or wanting something I don't. It's ridiculous when I think about it. If it is this hard anyway, then why do we (as Christians) stand for it in our relationships with one another? I think we as a whole are most guilty with material possessions. But everything really applies.

OK, the point. The point is this: pick and choose when to share your stuff. Use the Holy Spirit a little and think about your audience. God is awesome, and we should share Him with each other often! A little compassion and empathy wouldn't hurt - and it might just save you some friends. Make God the center of your stories, because He is. When you recognize envy creeping into a discussion or thought process; stop it! Your brothers and sisters in Christ need you to point out that stuff to them and in them; and you need them to point it out to you in you. It will hurt the first few times until you start to realize how hurtful what you're doing is to others, to God...but most of all to yourself. Envy would love to rob you of relationships, and treasure in heaven. Don't stand for it.

I feel a little bit like I rambled on this one. Here's some scripture to put everything together. Be led by the Holy Spirit!

Galatians 5:19-27

"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."