Broken Faith

"This is the will of God, your sanctification..." (1st Thessalonians 4:3)

Definitions of sanctification: (from Dictionary.com)
1. To set apart for sacred use; consecrate.
2. To make holy; purify.
3. To give religious sanction to, as with an oath or vow: sanctify a marriage.
4. To give social or moral sanction to.
5. To make productive of holiness or spiritual blessing.

Oswald Chambers mentions that we should be careful of saying, "Oh, I am longing to be sanctified" because the truth of the matter is...we are not longing at all to be sanctified. He goes on to mention that we need to receive Jesus Christ as sanctification for us by absolute, unquestioning faith.

Did you read that right? We need to "receive" by faith. Humans aren't good at receiving when it comes to God, especially when it comes from His Son Jesus Christ. And don't even mention the Holy Spirit, because that's clearly taking it too far. On the other hand though, there are some Christians who won't just talk about the Holy Spirit or claim gifts from Him, they live on the other end of the echelon by action for God...preaching the good news of the gospel without any hesitation. It's interesting how all kinds of Christians (and there are so many different, unique people in the body of Christ) no matter what their actions say...could still be in the same situation when it comes to "receiving Jesus Christ as our sanctification." Action doesn't have to equal relationship.

I realize while reading Mr. Chambers devotion "Is God's Will My Will?" that my faith is mostly broken. The only part of my faith that is not broken is that I can say out loud to people whom I don't know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I don't know if that qualifies for much of anything, but it would take care of "confessing with my mouth that Jesus is the Son of God," at least in part. Possibly that is just what I tell myself though. I really don't know for sure.

1st Corinthians 1:30 says:
"It is because of him (God) that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."
So according to this verse, Jesus Christ has become wisdom, righteousness, holiness, and redemption for me. That means that I don't "acquire" these things through a relationship with Jesus Christ...HE IS THEM FOR ME. I know this is what I don't fully understand, and may well never fully understand. When I say understand, I mean fully...life changing, live my life reflecting this truth. I understand in my head that this is the case. My life constantly reflects that I do not believe this. Who am I kidding, my life reflects that I think it is a bunch of garbage. But I believe in Jesus...right?

Mr. Chambers also mentions that we should not confuse the effect with the cause.
"The effect in me is obedience, service, and prayer, and is the outcome of inexpressible thanks and adoration for the miraculous sanctification that has been brought about in me because of the atonement through the Cross of Christ."
See, I have this trouble with thinking of prayer, obedience, service, meditation, fellowship, worship, as the "effect" instead of things I need to do to "get closer to God." This is why my faith is broken. It's not because I don't believe enough. I think it might be because I don't believe that Jesus is enough. Why do I constantly focus on things I can do for Jesus? I should just be focusing on Jesus with every breath, for everyday, in everything.

It is a good thing that Jesus is sanctification for me...because if it was up to me to make myself holy and blameless in the eyes of God, I'd be tired, miserable, and no good to anyone...especially God (not to mention no better off than when I tried to start the whole thing). This is me trying to prove that I am worth something by my own standards, and not allowing Jesus to be everything. If I am trying to do "more" for God and my relationship with Jesus is suffering or hurt by this...then I'd better stop and get back to Jesus in a hurry. Jesus is the only thing about you that makes God proud. The Holy Spirit is dedicated to making Jesus Christ become evident in your life on this earth. Everything that pours out of you as a result of Jesus Christ is Holy. Can you believe this way?

The Unheeded Secret

The following text was taken from Oswald Chambers daily devotional, "My Utmost for His Highest." Many of the posts on this blog find their beginnings in the work of this devotional.
--------------------------------------------
"The great enemy of the Lord Jesus Christ today is the idea of practical work that has no basis in the New Testament but comes from the systems of the world. This work insists upon endless energy and activities, but no private life with God. The emphasis, is put on the wrong thing." (The wrong thing being 'activity')

He goes on to say...
"You have no idea of where or how God is going to engineer your future circumstances, and no knowledge of what stress and strain is going to be placed on you either at home or abroad. And if you waste your time in over activity, instead of being immersed in the great fundamental truths of God's redemption, then you will snap when the stress and strain do come. But if this time of soaking before God is being spent in getting rooted and grounded in Him, which may appear to be impractical, then you will remain true to Him whatever happens."
--------------------------------------------
I don't feel comfortable "adding" anything to what Mr. Chambers has said above. However, I do feel like a participant in what he is talking about. My life is plagued with busyness, much of which has nothing to do with the New Testament, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, etc, etc. At least I should say, there's nothing extremely "evangelical" about my life. Evangelism (sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ) just doesn't seem to be happening right now.

However, it seems from Mr. Chamber's statements, that God has this rhythm of preparing us for what is to come. I feel like he has been preparing me for about 8 years now. I think that is a long time, and I'd rather be finished with the preparation time. Not only that, it seems like the preparation ground is getting more and more filled with things to challenge me in various ways. Not exactly what I'd call "a light burden" as is promised in scriptures. I'm not saying that Jesus lied in the Bible...that would just be silly. What I am saying is that your burden changes weight depending on how you perceive it. Are you looking at your current burdens through the eyes of God, or are you looking at them through your own eyes (the eyes of the world.)

There is a powerful statement above that eludes to God preparing us for future things that we know nothing of. We really can't judge current challenges / trials if we know nothing of what is coming. God is preparing a way to provide you with some things you've "always" wanted regarding His purposes for your life, and positioning you for huge blessings (because he wants to show he loves us more and more). And here is a difficult truth to deal with; if we aren't willing to go through what God has put in front of us to CHANGE US into what HE DESIGNED and had in mind when we were created in His own image, then we will never receive some of the things on this earth that God wanted us to have straight from Him. This is for His glory and to exalt Jesus Christ, the reason we have any relationship at all with God.

Us, we don't like to change when it's not on terms we can control. If I knew exactly where God was taking me, I tell myself that I would be more willing to change. People I know every day justify that they are open to God's leading because they are willing to change, but all they do is change into things based on something they have complete control over, leaving nothing to the power of the Holy Spirit. It is easy to change when you have control. It's not easy to let something so intimate, powerful, and unhinged as the Holy Spirit change you. I've fought it. More days than I have not fought it, I have fought it. I fight the Holy Spirit's desire to show me and uncover things in my life that He wants to change, destroy, or create in my heart, in my head, in my life, in my character, in my example to others...in everything.

It's that word surrender. I have to give up. I have to give up what I think I want. Give up what I think I need. It's not that I have to be miserable. I'm not saying that I have to give up "everything I like to do" or "everything I enjoy." This is an entirely different line of thought here. I'm talking about the things that wrong God. Things that added lashes to the back of Jesus Christ. Things that drove the nails into his hands and feet. It's our sin that drove the soldier to spear Christ in the side. It fulfilled scripture, and the fact that the spearing happened to fulfill scripture, and that it was driven by sin proves that God composed a love story with the entire Bible. God's story included our fallen state...He designed to restore us to Him. Isn't that worth my surrender? With this love story as the backdrop of history, seeing my life in that perspective...sure I owe it to God. I think God wants me to love Him though, not just "owe" Him. He wants my heart.

I guess that makes the secret this: With trials you face, God is preparing you for a future you do not know. He knows, and that is why it would probably be best to let Him prepare you. Trials are not from God in order to punish. Trials are from Him as attempts to woo you back to Him and for His glory. We're in a love story with the God of the Universe. In the times you can't handle it, or you are frustrated or angry at the situation or at Him...He wants you to tell Him. God wants a relationship with you in every way. Why do you think He walked in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve? Relationship and Worship.

God doesn't tempt you, He tests you. Tests will always come. Reaching to Him for the strength and the means for your life is always the right thing to do. Open your heart to Him. Life will mean more to you with Him involved every step of the way. I'm not going to lie to you, it's bitter-sweet on this earth. Some things get harder, some things get easier. Things change, that's for sure. In the end though, when you've lived your life on this earth, you're good to go because you have a relationship with Jesus. It's all good then.

Behold, The Lamb of God

I have a great hope that the message in this post will be communicated effectively.

"Behold, the Lamb of God that takes away the sins."
"He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised, for our iniquities. The chastisement that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed."
"All we like sheep had gone astray, each of us had turned to our own way but God has laid upon Him the iniquity of us all."
"There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death."

All of these quotes are straight from the Bible. They are in a song that is stuck in my head for about 7 years now. I know of so many people who live their lives not reflecting that they believe the truth that is in the statements above. I stand among these great many, as one who tends to wallow in self-doubt, hurt, and anguish over mistakes and a life lived in fear of falling short of God.

I apologize in advance for the amount of scripture / dictionary definitions to follow. Please be patient with this post and see it through to the end.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oswald Chambers says that the Missionary's key message should be the propitiation of Christ.
"He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world." (1 John 2:2)
I was curious what exactly "propitiation" meant. I figured it meant something like "reconciliation" or "payment." Turns out I wasn't totally wrong in this case. Although if you look for propitiation in the dictionary, it's very existence is defined by "a response to appease / reconcile relationship with 'a deity'." I find this interesting, that we have a word (and probably not the only one) that exists in the English language under the assumption that there is some type of God out there. It is also one of those words that defines itself by using the word. Like, "Propitiation: the act of propitiating." Like that helps anyone know what a word means.

Moving on.
Propitiation means:
"A process by which it becomes consistent with his character and government to pardon and bless the sinner. The propitiation does not procure his love or make him loving; it only renders it consistent for him to exercise his love towards sinners."
Propitiation also means:
"Christ is called the 'propitiation for our sins.' Here a different Greek word is used (hilasmos). Christ is 'the propitiation,' because by his becoming our substitute and assuming our obligations he expiated our guilt, covered it, by the vicarious punishment which he endured."
::The above definitions were copied exactly from dictionary.com::

At this point, I had to look up expiated, which I guessed meant something like "relieved."
This word also happens to have its existence due to the existence of a God of some kind. It means "to make amends."

That was all background to support this statement.
I desire a relationship with Jesus Christ because I recognize that I am a sinner that needs help from Jesus Christ in order to have a relationship with God.

We started with, "Behold, the Lamb of God that takes away the sins." Jesus Christ took away my sins. The sins I have committed against God in the past, the sins that I commit every day (whether I realize it or not), and the sins that I will commit in the future that offend a Father in Heaven that wants nothing more than to be in a relationship with me.
Things that aren't like God do not exist in the presence of God. The blood of Christ that covers those who believe makes us holy and blameless...regardless of whether we "really" are. This is by far the most difficult gift for me to accept in life. I can't repay this. It's just like when someone forgives you, and you know you don't deserve it. You want to feel bad. You want to change, at least you should. I mean c'mon, if someone forgives you or shows you kindness and you have done nothing but hurt that person (even if it was unknowingly), you feel bad. There's immediate feeling of guilt.

But the feeling of guilt is wrong. Know why it's wrong? Because God doesn't want you to feel it. Christ fulfilled a perfect people in the eyes of God by His life, His death, and His resurrection. God "made amends" for your guilt. You don't have to feel guilty, and you shouldn't feel guilty about needing to be forgiven. Trust me, you're not the only one that needs to be forgiven. Every person that is in heaven, is in heaven because they needed to be forgiven for stuff. Stuff that was wrong in the eyes of God.

Jesus Christ did that. He did that for all people. The choice to accept this truth...is yours.
"There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death."
Right now, whether you believe in Jesus or not, Christ felt the pain for your stuff. Stuff in your life that is in conflict with the Character of God...Christ bled for that. A decision that turns eyes away from the truth when ears have heard it will be subject to the law of sin and death. That means you'll be judged, by God, according to your terms...instead of by the law of the Spirit of life...according to Jesus Christ's terms.

The law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus.

The Vision and the Reality

I've felt ashamed lately how drastically different my reality is compared to the "Vision" that God has given me for my life, and possibly many other lives. It's beginning to hit me though. Something about my life...and my character needing to be built so that it can handle the reality of the vision.

When God gives a vision, it serves as hope. I've lost sight of that lately. I've been asking the question, "What good is all of this doing me?" I should be asking the question, "What good is all of this doing God?" The fact is, and I really hate to admit this, that God is using some really challenging circumstances to mold my character. It's not only that, but these things are molding my character in ways I know it "should have been" years ago. I guess that's proof that "God's timing is not my timing."

I don't mean to throw around so many Christian cliches at once. Sometimes Christians have a tendency to over-use certain phrases. Doing this has the potential to be dangerous. Words like savior and Lord for example. Christians say that Jesus is their "Lord and Savior." Many people seem to want the Savior part. They want to be saved from hell. The Lord part though, isn't so easy. Lord implies that you emulate, respect, and follow that person's example. Beyond that, you will act in accordance with what they would do in a situation.

In the harder times of life, we tend to be tested to the greatest extent. Why would God allow me to be tested in the hardest times? I think God wants to know who you are going to turn to when things get to be too much for you to handle on your own. Who do you turn to now? Do you turn to God in your difficult situation? This is how it must be for a person with a God-given Vision, especially if they hope for it to become their reality. God hopes His vision for you will become your reality. Out of His goodness and out of His mercy, he designs your life so that you can experience His purpose for your life together. There's no benefit to trying to experience God's purpose for your life without God. It's His purpose...He's got to be involved.

If you are in a hard time, persevere. Perseverance leads to character, and character leads to hope. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. Pray. Prayer is communication with God. He might not say anything, and probably won't say anything if you are surrendering to His Will in your heart. He knows you are on the right path, and wants you to continue. Love others, as if your Lord was Jesus Christ. The Journey is hard, but the burden is light. Here's to all of the dreamers out there, hoping and believing in the visions from God.

Rest

Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, and I will give you rest."
A somewhat elusive statement by Jesus. Not elusive because it's indirect or vague...but because it's difficult.

How do I come to Jesus?
What does he think of me?
I haven't been doing well as of late...
What if he turns me away?
Why would he waste time on me?
Things are such a mess, how did they get this bad?
There's no hope for me, I'm too far away from God.

I've thought about these things. I know I'm not the only one. See, all of these statements are "Self-awareness" statements. It's us, looking at ourselves being aware of our current state. Let's face it, we're sinners. In other words, we're not "perfect." We're not "good" most of the time, and even if we are we aren't good enough. With statements like this we are caught up in our own self-awareness so much that we live inside a box that we have designed for ourselves...and unfortunately we've crafted a God that lives outside that box, and would not bother with us "even if he did care."
That's why it's so hard. Jesus very plainly says "Come to me." He doesn't tell you to evaluate yourself first. That will come later, as the Holy Spirit does a work in your life. The simple command is to take a few steps toward Him. To trust Him enough to lift up your cares and worries to an "unseen" savior, a righteous Lord.

More often than not, I have serious trouble coming to Jesus. It's because of self-awareness that this happens. It's not because I can't accept his Grace (even though I'm terrible at this), and it's not because I'm not qualified to be with Jesus, because he gave me the option to accept qualification by His blood when he died on the cross. I struggle because I think about how "well" I've done lately in God's eyes. I take what I know of God's character, and match it up against my character...then I do something so silly as to compare those 2 things and decide based on that the level in which Jesus will accept me today.

The truth of the matter is that Jesus wants you and me to Come to Him. We're supposed to come to him all the time. There is a rest that lies with leaning on Jesus that is not like sleep or relaxation. It's like the feeling that you are alone slowly leaving. You're sharing your worries, cares, and anxiety with the God of the Universe. I'm pretty sure He can handle it. Jesus wants us with Him, because He wants to be reflected in us. He knows that His power is enough. And that's the thing isn't it? Do you know that the love of Christ is powerful enough to love through anything you are, no matter how ugly, miserable, or rebellious?
Let me just say it in plain truth.
The Love of Christ is powerful enough to love through anything you are, no matter how ugly, miserable, or rebellious. If you're questioning whether you "should" come to Jesus or not because of a struggle with worth...there's no argument. Come to Jesus, and He will give you rest.

Discouraged or Devoted?

There was a moment when a rich young ruler came to Jesus Christ. This man had kept all of the commandments since his youth. Yet...
Luke 18:22-23: When Jesus heard these things, He said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Come, follow Me."

This man had done "nothing wrong" according to the law. What must it have felt like to be told, "Yeah, but I want to ask something more from you." This man has probably labored over decisions in his life; probably feels as if he's done pretty well overall. I suppose in many ways...he has. He's a good person. But in this example, being a good person is separated from the expectations of Jesus. There may be some expectation to be a good person, but Jesus asks more of us. Jesus just told a good person, that he needs to do one more thing before following him.

That's hard to hear. It's hard to hear that more is required, when you feel like you've given all you can possibly give. Or, in a different way, it is hard to be asked for the one thing you don't really want to give...when you've given everything else other than that one thing. I mean, you're entitled to that one thing for yourself...right? Oswald Chambers puts it like this: "Rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him...and then give God that."

Luke 18:23: "When he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich."
This is where my life becomes much like the rich young ruler's at this moment. Unlike the rich young ruler, I am not able to stand before Jesus and say, "I've kept all the commandments since my youth." The rich young ruler feels sorrowful. Why? Is it because he doesn't think he can give his money away? Is it because he loves possessions? Is it because following Jesus would cost him "too much?" Well...Yeah.

Measuring what you should do for Jesus with the current worlds perception of things makes this feel ridiculous. I mean, it's ridiculous to give everything. We work "so hard" for what we have. Why shouldn't we do what we want to with stuff? The answer is because all this stuff is His anyway. We need to love Jesus Himself. Not be proud or want to boast about our devotion to Jesus. Only Jesus is worthy of that praise. It is His Spirit that accomplishes this work in us anyway. The praise, glory, honor, and power are His.

Yet I feel sorrowful. Because I haven't yet been able to fully lay my life down for Jesus. I hope one day, I find the courage to fully receive what Jesus did for me...and live my life according to His direction, and His example. Not that I would be "perfect" exactly, but that I would be after Jesus with every ounce of energy I have.

Does He Know Me?

John 10:3 says "He calls us each by name, and we like sheep follow him...because we know his voice." This verse goes on to say that we do not follow him as a stranger.

Sometimes I wonder whether I know God. I've been trying to "get life right" for about 8 years now, and I feel lost more than I thought I would at 28. The sheep analogy doesn't really make much sense at the moment...I'm not sure that I would recognize His voice. God does know me however, He knows me all too well. He knows how he built me, and how I'm designed to work.

It's funny how people will talk about God a bunch, but sometimes won't say the name of "Jesus." It must be reserved for those "Jesus Freaks" out there. You have to be certified in crazy to go around talking about Jesus. You really can't separate God from Jesus though. At least, not if you are looking at the God of the Bible; the God of Israel; the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

God knows me. He knows you. Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach that God knows me, because I wonder how he could accept me, or love me, or call me by name when I've screwed up and stabbed Him in the heart so many times...on purpose. I think about Jesus, and how he died; I'm the cause of a bunch of the pain he went through. One of those lashes on his back was to purchase my life. Some of the blood that was spilled was to cover my sins; to shield my iniquity from the sight of our Father. Jesus did that. God is righteous. He is Holy. Nothing can be around him that isn't Holy. We aren't Holy. Something or someone needed to make us Holy in the eyes of God. Jesus did that. He's the only one that could have done that.

He knows me. If He didn't know me He wouldn't have sent Jesus. He did send Jesus. Jesus willingly came out of heaven to live on earth. Not just to live on earth, to die for our sins. The trick is that it's a gift. Lots of things in me rise up against accepting this kind of thing for free. But there is nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do to deserve what Jesus did for me. There's nothing I can do to get to heaven on my own. I can't be a good enough person to be with God. I can only accept the gift of life that was given to me by God Himself, through Jesus Christ: Son of God, Son of Man.

He knows me and he calls out to me by name. Ever reaching for me, offering everlasting life. Not some day, but today and every day.