This one's for the family. When I say that someone is going up against God, I don't mean enemies. I mean children. God's children, to be precise. If you were someone fortunate enough to have parents that tried to care for you when you were a kid - you know what I'm talking about.
Remember when you wanted to do something. It could be anything, like go rock-climbing with a friend at the age of 8 or something. Maybe it was spend the night at a friends house - only your parents hadn't met their parents and weren't willing to take the risk that their (son or daughter) would be hurt or in danger in some way. Especially when it came to "house rules." The old, "My house, my rules!" statement that parents always say with such pride and arrogance. At least, it looks like pride and arrogance at the time to us kids trying to do what we want.
In those moments, I would argue, that there is about 65% of the kids that are just trying to experience life and excited to do something new and different. To some extent, we live with this urge our entire lives, and it's not always the sinful nature acting as the driving force for that. We want to experience. We want to live. Wired to be free...
Yet, until we reach a "certain age" some of us find ourselves up against parents. I remember many times when my Dad would come to retrieve me from a video arcade. I'd already spent hours playing video games and I would see him coming in my peripheral vision without even looking away from the game I was playing. By the time I recognize my Dad, I'm already determined to make this game last as long as possible - and plotting my way into asking if I can play another game should I meet an untimely demise in the current game. I've already in my mind decided what I want to do. Enter the immovable object (Dad) - at least when you are 12 Dad is mostly immovable.
I would dash straight for my Dad when I was a kid not getting what I wanted. I'd physically try to hit him. I remember it. I thought if I swung hard enough, that he'd just give up and leave me to do what I wanted to do in the first place. That's what most kids do as they are learning discipline - especially if they are not learning it...but when they learn it too. They try everything and anything to get or do what they want to do.
My Dad would either hold me so tight that it hurt my arms (which did stop the tantrum), or just pick me up and take me out of there. As I got stronger and bigger, he started not to have a choice but to let me go and use other means of "discipline." You know, like revoking gaming privileges once I got home from the arcade. Yeah, I was hooked to say the least.
The point is that parents tend to not "compromise" on certain things. Some things, sure...others though - not so much. God is no different. In His sovereignty, He does not compromise. If God is the God of Israel, there are no grounds on which He needs to compromise at all. If you find yourself in a compromise with God, it is only that you see it as a compromise...and you are wrongly labeling his mercy.
I've spent the last few months throwing punches at God, and honestly, I'm not sure when or if I'm going to stop. One thing I do know is that God is not moving. He continues to be God, he continues to be faithful, He continues to be working His plans out on this earth and in heaven, He continues to be my father, and I continue to be an adopted Son. The fact that this is true makes me more and more angry the more I punch. Just like a kid when they realize that the tantrum isn't working.
I wonder how long it is going to take until I realize that trying to take extra punches at God isn't going to do anything? Ironically, it has even gone so far that I somehow have justified that if I punish myself, then He will have to do something because it will prove that His way isn't what is best? Manipulation tactics hard at work on God. I recognize that I'm doing these things, and I know fully that God knows that I'm doing these things.
So why don't I stop?
The truth is that I love myself more than I love God. WAY more. So much more that I'm willing to try purposefully to hurt Him rather than give up all the good stuff I thought was in me...wait for it...which includes most of the good stuff that I thought He put in me. That doesn't make sense - - does it? Abraham and Isaac ring a bell? Not going to get into that again, that point has been proven.
The point now is my purposefulness about loving myself before and more than God. Putting effort into the tantrum about the FACT that God is bleeding certain things out of me that change the very fabric of who I am - - and honestly I believe it is for the worst. When I survey me - the changes make me nothing special...and I can't even tell you how much I hate that. Yeah, this one is personal, so that is going to show in how I say it.
I don't know if what I'm talking about here applies to everyone across the board. I know that it applies to me though, because I prayed for a long time that God would not let me escape His Will for my life. What a stupid prayer. Honestly, if I could take that kind of thing back, I would right now. It hurts so much and I feel so lost that I want it back. And that brings me to the fact that God is immovable. I can't get to the prayer to take it back because now God has it and is doing it and there's nothing I can do about it because it was a prayer that was/is according to His will and purpose. And just like a kid, that seems very arrogant to me - rigid and uncompromising. Unfair and without justice. What a ridiculous wretch I am.
This is the part where I say all the Jesus stuff that get to the point. The stuff like that He died and rose for us and was beaten for us and who am I to rule justice or proclaim something is fair. Yeah, yeah - I heard all that before. Next I'm supposed to say that there's something comfortable about the fact that God doesn't move because look, now He's doing something in my life that, if I had it my way, wouldn't be done. And, since God works out everything for His glory, for the good, and has plans to prosper us and a future for us - I should be jumping for joy and praising God.
Needless to say, that's not really my strong suit.
I guess all I have to say is take refuge and find freedom in the fact that God is immovable. (that's if you believe in Jesus)
If you don't believe in Jesus, fear God and recognize that HE IS IMMOVABLE. He will not be compromising with you after this life for your ticket into Heaven. Jesus or bust kid.
